The pain of choosing love...

Whoa, this is slippery! The cry heard just prior to ones bottom crashing solidly upon the glassy surface. Raised Canadian, memories of frozen ponds, ice skates and shinny hockey are deeply ingrained into my childhood archives. Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about such pleasurable days long past. Canadian children are drawn to ice like bears to honey. Skates on, or off, we are always looking for the next slippery patch to slide across. I recall well the exhilaration of loosing my footing, only to regain balance in the nick of time. Arms flail, the torso automatically dips to lower my center of gravity, whilst legs move magically of their own accord to rediscover equilibrium. All the while, a great big smile is pasted across my face in recognition of an exciting save. Not to be forgotten, are the occasions when the balancing act literally falls short of success. Sharp jab of pain runs from the base of the spine to the lower back, followed by a compression impact of the upper back and shoulders. Finally, the inevitable thunk as the back of the head gracelessly surrenders to gravity. Onlookers, knowing the experience very well, can't help exposing a slightly guilty laugh. Coming to the realisation all is relatively well, the hapless victim, massaging butt and head in unison, cracks a toothy smile. "Man, oh man, that hurts!"

Journeying down the aforementioned wintery memory lane causes me pause to query the thoughts, feelings and emotions behind the toothy smile. The impetus of my quest is to recall simple tools which will enable me to better navigate the uncertainty of tomorrow.

I need not cast my imagination far to discover my world is a cold isolated environ. I am an eternal expression of Godself consciousness. I am the totality of all manifest reality. There is nothing which exists that I am not, In Lak'ech. Seeing a bird, tree, sky, stars or the sun, I say In Lak'ech. My brethren, from the depth of my heart I say, In Lak'ech. Facing such glory, do I rejoice? No, I deny my true identity in favour of the sensory illusion of separation. I am you, I love you, I just want us both to understand this. Grotesque is the spectacle of brothers tearing into each others flesh, I render unto you my broken heart. It reminds me of.... My goodness, I cannot find an adequate simile to match the ignorant brutality before me. Perhaps a hyena, but vicious as the kills are, hunger and survival motivate the beast. Fear and ignorance seem to be the only motors driving humanity! Racing along insanity highway, we insist on steering down every chaotic lane imaginable. Strumming chords of compassion, I attend response from understanding souls who so rarely cross my path.

Brutal images, crash into my reality, screaming injustice they hurt me deeply. "YOU THINK YOU ARE GOD: EAT THIS SHIT SON AND LOVE IT; THIS IS YOU!" God comes in all flavours brother, let me tell you, they don't all taste like chocolate. Yesterday morning, hot coffee steaming on my desk, the simple innocent image below brought forth a flood of emotion causing me to weep. Cracks in the dam, they are everywhere, growing, widening, spreading, why should this seemingly benign photo cause a hemorrhage?

Maya always reflects Ego! Chaotic feelings and emotions, evoked by the photo, stem from an illusory Egoic belief structure. I believe in separation, life, death and the physical plane. I have experienced desire, hunger, lack and know poverty all too well. No illusionist could cast such a magnificently captivating spell of depravity as is displayed by Ego. Ego, using my five senses as allies, cohorts in the ultimate crime of deception.

My fears rally to revel in his plight whilst Ego states emphatically, this is you Christopher. Yes, this is me, in more ways than one, in the etheral and the physical, this truly is me. It was not always this way, I can see the folly of youth hidden inside his beaten exterior. Dancing to magical fancy, with a spring in his teenage step, I doubt very much this man could foresee his future would manifest this poignant moment of truth. Etched in a tiny strip of 400 asa film is the culmination of all his dreams. Golden years, do not always yield the gilded lifestyle we might have anticipated. Whence a man has given his power to the universe, and there is no more, should calm not prevail? Can we not find a way in our heart to offer dignity, pride, love, kindness, compassion to all our retired brethren. Is there no semblance of justice, are we so bereft of sense!

Holding out his hand, my brother counts change. I cannot fathom what unreasonable demand must be made upon the meager sum of currency he holds. Look at his wife's face and posture, what woman should have to see her man so demeaned? I cannot stop the tears! Why? What compels us to think it prudent to destroy a wilting flower? His dreams are not different than mine or yours. We all want dignity, peace, love, contentment and respect. Is this too much to ask?

Turning over the coin, I comprehend the illusory condition of reality. My Godself understands physicality, separation, need, death and life are passing fancies of Ego. Many people, after discovering their Godself, hide under a blanket of truth. They profess, all is love, all is God. Put all of the nasty parts aside they say, focus only on love, truth, peace and unity. Is this why we are here? I have the tools to be that person, I can cocoon myself into a pupal casing of Godself love. Choosing to turn my face from the devastation inflicted upon my brethren will not serve me well.

Ego exists for a reason, if I were meant to experience life only from a Godself perspective, then I would be walking on water and doing all the shit they say Jesus did. I believe we are born into an Ego biased reality for the purpose of experiencing the totality of self. Suffering hearts are the first to embrace understanding, compassion and love, why then would I attempt to ignore or circumvent the designs of Ego? Just look at the state of our world, tell me, is it right to hold our tongue? I say unto you, none of you have food when your brother starves? If your belly is so full you cannot see this truth, more the pity, you have learned little from Ego.

There are times when I ask myself, why should I suffer? I am powerful, versatile and intelligent, I can be and have whatever I want. Alas, I too count change, my hand is empty as much as it is full. Should I close my eyes and meditate upon wealth? Do I use the gift of manifestation to seduce materialism in all her wanton glory? I cannot! Closing my eyes, my heart can only seek love? Love means more than anything else, love conquers all. Many think a life dedicated to discovering love and truth is a sure fire route to peace, contentment and happiness. If this be your experience, I can only advise that you are refusing to see your greater self. We know we have found love when we cannot stop bleeding and crying for our brethren. The bearer of the true self does not hide from his brothers pain, this is not possible. Being spiritually connected is not an easy row to hoe, it is not about smiles, yoga positions and quaint little one lined quips. Spiritual people are warriors, they hurt like hell and the tears never stop.
Take this Buddha pill and swallow it, this is you, the spiritual warrior! Spiritual warriors always tread on ice. Oops there she goes, down with a thunk. Where is that toothy smile? There it is, locked forever in the knowing of Godself.

In Lak'ech, I am you.

Back in one month "Retro Favorite until then" Judgment...

It was a wonderful December day when we searched for our Christmas tree this year. Off and on, the rain would quietly moisten the forest floor. A slight breeze carried fresh scents to enchant the moment. Leaving my wife on dry ground, I ventured alone into an old bog. I slowly weaved my way across the mire, managing barely to keep dry. I spied an old fallen tree which I thought might offer slippery but safe passage over an especially wet section. Picking my way across the moss laden log demanded full attention. Balance, a modicum of grace and focus were also required. Underfoot, the log bobbed in the water, obeying the command of my advancing weight. Performing it's dance, the log steadfastly remained unpredictable, until finally I reached dry ground. Successfully navigating the other side a beautiful tree called my attention. We managed to get it home and trimmed for all to adore.

I later reflected on this experience. I was considering how crossing the mire represented a beautiful metaphor for challenges I face daily in life.
There lies before us all a path to unconditional love. We could choose carefully each step we take, in doing so we stay dry, warm and comfortable. Or we could carelessly traipse along, making ourselves wet, cold and miserable. For the most part, it is easy to stay dry if care and attention is expressed. However, we know there will be difficult stretches where we must work a little harder and be more attentive if we are to navigate safely.

So what lessons do I learn from such an experience?

Each step I take requires my undivided attention. Along my path I can expect difficult times. When I see the path ahead is more challenging I must slow down, find my balance, then carefully proceed with grace. I don't know how things will change in my live but I must accept, adjust and quickly regain composure.

The path to unconditional love often feels like a balancing act. The ego, continually crying for attention, is much like the shaky log underfoot. I never know what my ego is going to throw at me but each time I must accept, adjust and regain my GodSelf essence.

I find the path to be an extremely demanding experience. Each and every day I spend great amounts of time observing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I may go a few hours without reflection, but I almost always manage to later get caught up. Without this constant vigil I would be hopelessly lost. I say this because I know how relentless and tricky my ego is.

Judgment has been one of the things I have been focusing on of late.

I find in my heart so many ways I judge myself, others, events and outcomes. These constant echoes of ego mind only further ground my resolve to be the GodSelf I am. I am convinced expressions of ego can only be controlled with determined effort. If I fail to pay close attention, ego will be there to knock me off the log.

The way I see it, my waking perception of reality can be broken down into three separate and distinct blocks of time.


Unconscious time: I must admit this represents for me the greatest block of time. This is the time each day I spend on auto-pilot. Most all of my daily routines fall into this category. Playing games, working, eating, driving, etc.. As I investigate this part of my day I determine it often reflects the fear, insecurity and illusion found in my ego mind.
I have found great value in observing how my monkey mind seizes control during the unconscious time.

Conscious time: Conscious time represents in my life a significantly smaller block than unconscious time. This is the time each day I spend expressing my GodSelf. It is only by demanding consistent reflection and expression my GodSelf that I can remain committed to a path of unconditional love.

Observers time: I spend a large part of each day observing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. The observer is a most essential part of my being if am to remain true to my heart. Times of observation allow me to comprehend the lessons my ego is teaching. Moreover, the observer acts as a rudder, allowing me to steer a course beyond the rough waters of ego to the calm serenity of unconditional love.


With this matrix of time exposed, one would naturally assume that my goal is to eradicate the unconscious time in favour of conscious time. Furthermore, one would suspect that the observer in me is the conduit to said objective. To a certain extent such an analysis is accurate. However, beyond this objective lies the lesson of judgment. If we pursue an objective for it's own sake, we often fail to appreciate and value the many small steps which have made the journey possible.

Imagine climbing mount Everest. The first thing that pops into your mind is probably the feeling of taking those final few steps to the summit. Your mind naturally gravitates to the objective of the goal. One fails to imagine or appreciate the inherent value of the thousands of other steps which made this endeavor a reality.

Yes I desire to express only unconditional love. I desire to reflect only my GodSelf being. The irony is that I can never reach this summit unless I am prepared to release desire completely. I can see how my ego chooses to subjugate my search by redefining it in terms of goals and desires. By extension, my search for unconditional love becomes circumvented by judgment. I see my Godself expression is pale in contrast to my egoself, so I may judge myself incomplete. Judgment of self is the quickest path to dis empowerment. There can be no goal or desired outcome. I am God, is the only truth which exists. All else is illusion fabricated by my ego.


How do I remain alert to these subtle dance steps of my ego? The answer is acceptance, non judgmental balance and unconditional love.

I must always remember that the expression of each moment is divine. There is never a time when I am not perfect. I can see my life as a series of choices which create my reality, but this is illusion. There are truly no choices made. How can I choose when I am ONE being, ONE reality, ONE consciousness, eternally expressing the divine GodSlef.

THERE IS NO MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB! I AM THE MOUNTAIN AND THE CLIMBER!

I find in front of me a journey of soul. The path of my soul is predetermined. Beyond the illusion of time and space my soul continues it's eternal expression. I can accept all aspects of my reflection without judgment. I can accept all other reflections as my own, for I am this totality. In this state of non judgment, I may find balance and serenity. With attentiveness to unity, I can discover a way to love myself unconditionally. Where my soul takes me is not important, knowing that I am you is. With this understanding I know that I can only become complete in my GodSelf when you join me in embracing the truth of unity. Judgment day should be therefore considered by society as a misnomer. Judgment day will not represent a day of judgment, rather a day when all judgment has been released.

In Lak' esh, my brethren, I cannot judge for I am another you...

Diamonds and DarkStars....

Namaste brethren, the beauty of blogging is that we can openly share thoughts, feelings and emotions which allow us fresh perspectives needed to enrich our personal and collective reality. Defining, then defending, personal philosophical positions affords opportunity to crystallise in our hearts what we consider truth. Truth however is a slippery sort. Like a chameleon, it changes to mirror it's environment. One just need speak with a potential suicide bomber to see how, perspective, has a funny way of making one man's truth another man's lie. On a subtler level, the uniqueness of our personal lens allows us to share a common truth whilst finding discord by drawing significantly differing conclusions. On such occasions, one may find no flaw in an apposing argument, yet, still be left feeling uneasy. The intelligent person will not take offence, instead, they will seek ways to rediscover common ground. This blog represents one such tale with my brother DarkStar.

Maybe it's all about finding the perfect aspect. Diamonds have many aspects, the professional will be asked to choose, with great consideration and precision, which facets to highlight, and which to leave uncut. The result of such efforts, will either encourage, or dissuade, elucidation. Clarity, is what has, and always will, be called for.

Truth, is the diamond, we are the sculptors, the world will see the light we manufacture.

Defining the correct cut and polish, invites others to gasp in awe at divine beauty. Miss the mark, even a bit, and a milky haze of confusion follows. Stepping out of this metaphor of clarity, allow me to illustrate by example.

When considering the holographic nature of our reality we can, with the aid of quantum physics, utilise the non locality of the electron to scientifically prove that time, space and separation are illusions. This is not new science, in the mid sixties advances in equipment allowed physicists to measure electron travel in the hundred billionth of a second, this development led to experiments which proved non locality. Delving deeper into the nature of reality with string and super string theory, many physicists began defining reality as a hologram. Over the last couple decades Big TOE theories which incorporate the holographic model are becoming much more accepted by scientific pioneers worldwide. Sadly to say, universities and affiliated peer groups globally repel such advanced scientific concepts, I think because they know the holographic universe comes too close to the ultimate spiritual truth of unity consciousness.

"Our reality is a holographic expression."

Let us use the paraphrased statement above as an agreed truth. From this one diamond of truth we can now cut and polish a couple of divergent facets.

One person could surmise; my reality is expressed as a hologram, therefore, my existence is logically more fake than real. Living within the confines of a manufactured lie, I imagine my reality is in fact real, but, what is real? I ask myself this; if the illusion of time, space and the physical world around me ceased to be the filter of my reality experience, how then would I define my reality? Logically, I must conclude there would be "NO THING material." Without time and space as a reference an experiential abyss would prevail. In the quantum world of limitless potentiality, consciousness allows me to experience but there can be "no God per se" as there is "NO THING." "This experience as HUMANITY has NO PURPOSE, its all a lie and we don't exist." "It's all a sham to think it is real in order to control us." "This experience, that so many seem to value, is FAKE and it's like living a life completely in a HOLO-DECK Program on Star Trek Voyager."




Another person could discern a completely different position; my reality is expressed as a hologram, therefore, my existence is logically more fake than real. Living within the confines of a manufactured lie, I imagine my reality is in fact real, but, what is real? I ask myself this; if the illusion of time, space and the physical world around me ceased to be the filter of my reality experience, how then would I define my reality? Logically, I must conclude there would be NO THING material. Without time and space as a reference an experiential abyss would prevail. It is the gift of illusion which allows me to discover the richness of experience. I must conclude the true state of reality is nothingness, however, consciousness allows me to experience. Consciousness must originate from a given source, there is no need for a label, however many choose to call source, God. It appears to me, God, in a state of nothingness, chose to experience. I see now the universe, which I once thought was material, does not exist except within the confines of consciousness. The nature of a hologram is such that the tiniest of fragments contains the entirety of information, this explains the parable of the mustard seed. If time and space do not exist then I must surmise consciousness is the sum total of reality. If I accept that consciousness is reality, then, I must also comprehend that separation is an illusion, all is ONE. If all is ONE, then I am you, in fact there is truly nothing that I am not. Not only is there a God, but I am that eternal being. There appears to be a limitless voice to reality. This plane of experience is, in my mind(excuse the pun), most amazing. I have obviously chosen to enter this reality totally blinded by illusion, a babe in every sense. Beyond great odds, I have discovered a sense of my true identity, what could be more beautiful. I have created this holographic experience called humanity, it is my playground. I was never born, I will never die, forever will I play hide and seek. A metaphor to consider may be the many eddies in the ocean. God is the Ocean and we are like eddies in the Ocean, both of the one but distinctly separate at the same time. I also love the metaphor of light through a prism, whereas the prism creates the illusion of separation which belies the true singularity of source.

To be fair, my brother DarkStar has not created his argument as of yet. Nor has he been given a chance to even comment on the hodge podge of quotes and filled in blather hastily constructed as his position by me. Knowing my brother as I do, I can assure you he will do so forthwith, or at his earliest convenience.

Until then, I leave you all with the same challenge I know will be taken up by my brother DarkStar.

1./ What does the holographic universe mean to you?

2./ How does it fit your paradigm of reality?

3./ If you had to define, cut, and polish your own facet from this scientific diamond, what pearls of wisdom would you draw from knowing you and your universe is really a hologram.

To gain knowledge we start by asking questions. In our search for answers we must seek many different sources while invoking the courage to always listen with an open mind. The path of true enlightenment can only be found by applying simple lessons learned from children, whereas, the mind must remain unbridled, free, open, inquisitive, joyful, playful and relentless. Such a soul sees truth as a non static dancing pixie always at the ready to display magic. I think the magic in this topic is plentiful. Magic also shows it's face in the form of irony. I find it deliciously appealing that quantum physics allows us define our reality as nothingness and as God at the same time.

In Lak' ech, dear brethren, if reality is a hologram then you are God...