Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Earth Girls Are Easy; Discovering the self Part 1

 ***For the ending, could have an epilogue whereas someone writes Karen a letter to thank her and how much the book changed her life!

Hello, my name is Karen Mulner. welcome to the Seattle book signing of "Earth Girls are Easy!" a presentation highlighting the extraordinary.

Prior to the signing, the city library has asked I say a few words. In attendance to their request, I invite you to share with me a special story revealing a date I had with a real cute alien.

Some maintain my experience was a dream. Others suggest, I am stark raving mad. Perhaps, most people believe the entire episode to be a well contrived scam. Surprisingly, this story has caused quite an unwelcome stir in my community. Many have labelled me liar, con, even heretic. Even some close friends remain convinced the entire experience cannot possibly be true.

Yet, I tell you this, not one word deviates, in any detail, from what I recall happened that fateful night. To substantiate my claim of the events, I offer a video CD which the manufacturer has cleverly inserted in the book cover. Assess for yourself the validity of my tale. The video is comprehensive, however, I did edit out some personal parts. There were things, I thought, said, and did, which I just do not want to share with the world at large. When choosing to edit the video, I never thought of how the missing portions would arm the countless skeptics who paint me a liar. Call me naive, but, I expected everyone would believe my story. Moreover, I anticipated most people would focus on the message rather than the the type of pants the messenger was wearing.

From my perspective; you don't have to be a scientist to understand, or at least resonate, with the truth of who you are. Excitedly, I thought, even a small dose of the elixir given to me would surely be sufficient to excite the world. Today, I simply wish this message might ignite within you a spark, which if carefully nurtured, might flash into a beautiful flame of unity.

No doubt, many of you heard my story splashed across local news. Surely, you realised my goal was to lend a voice to the simple message of unity and love. How many others have nudged this unattended plea closer to the doorstep of humanity? Each plea, like a droplet of water, food for a rose. Standing here with you today, I can't help wonder, how many more droplets will be required to encourage the summer bloom? Possibly, you will be the next drop.

From a raggedy rooftop, an altruistic dream was, yet again, whispered to the world. Pray tell, what response did I yield? Love, compassion, excitement, none to be found! In the stead of love, I was gifted a most cancerous response. What unfolded was, the more I spoke of a world united in love, the more everyone was convinced my 'Alien' story was a sham. Instead of discussing the philosophy of 'unity consciousness', I found myself scrambling for unequivocal evidence to prove the 'Alien visitor' aka 'Antonio' really existed.

Having given many interviews, as well, countless book signings world wide, it seems most people still believe the "Alien" to be an accomplice. The media has, for the most part, convinced the public that I must have hired someone to act out the role of Antonio. Regretfully, I find it difficult to refute their claims. Often, I imagine what I would think if I were you. From your eyes, I must admit there are arguable points of contention with my rendition of the events. Firstly; there is the questionable video. The 'experts' agreed, in its doctored state it is impossible to prove my story true. Second problem, equally impossible to prove or disprove, the famous 'Banderas pants'. Everyone asks me, how did I end up with his pants, if I didn't steal them? When I can offer no reasonable explanation, other than, the 'Alien' made them. Well, let's just say, you can hear the air rushing out of the balloon. Accusations of theft always hang heavy over interviews and books signings. I GET IT!

Few media dogs reserved judgement, everyone was satisfied to label me liar, thief and charlatan. The most remarkable thing about the media was reflected in how reporters were more interested in what I thought about the imminent law suit filed by the legal team of Antonio Banderas, than to discover my views of the GodSelf, the nature of time, or the illusion of physicality. How can we live in a world where Hollywood gossip is more newsworthy than the philosophy of our very existence?

According to main stream media; the most compelling story was the video evidence proving, beyond any doubt, the pants worn by the 'Antonio impersonator' were the exact same pair Antonio wore in the 1992 movie Mambo Kings. Apparently, as the story goes, a friend of Antonio had designed the pants as a one off original. After careful inspection of my video, the designer guarantees it is his work seen on the original video disc I provided for inspection. The craftsman, Pierre De Ville, is reported to have stated the following in a CNN interview.

"This is the same pants! Anyone who knows my work can see it's mine. But for me, the real convincer is the red silk. You see, I ran out of red silk for a small part of the embroidered star so I used this chartreuse instead (Seen in the interview showing star on bottom of pant leg). No one would ever notice the change but me, it bothered me. When I visit Antonio, those pants hang on the wall of his office, it gives me pride. Even Antonio said he remembers me telling him about the star. This girl Karen is a liar, a thief and a fraud. It's terrible the torture stars like Antonio have to endure. We should give them respect! People, like Antonio, make the world a better place for us all!" 

Antonio is convinced that while he was on vacation, I stole his pants from his house. He maintains; I obviously filmed the video of his double wearing the pants in question. Antonio further suggests; after finishing my video, I then broke back into his house to replace the storied pants. The whole affair turned into a media circus. My best friend Kelly, is the only one who believes me. She has always insisted; the global attention would let me tell my story, let me help to enlighten the world. Alas, that prediction seems past due for the grave. The reality is; in the light of Antonio's pants, no one wanted to hear about spiritual philosophy, Ego, the meaning of life, or who they really are. Every time I turned the subject to God, they steered me over to, yet another, video excerpt. On and on they went about his stupid pants, it was all so infuriatingly frustrating.

Once, a few months ago; I did a story with MSNBC, I was so happy the reporter let me speak about love, light, and the GodSelf. He interviewed me for about 20 minutes, leaving me with the feeling we really connected. Later that night, I couldn't wait to see the news story. I cried when I saw how they sliced and diced the interview footage, cleverly framing nasty innuendos whilst making crass jokes about my clear lack of sanity. On top of their abuse, they inserted all kinds of fragmented comments I had made which were completely out of context. By the interview end, I was made to look a right idiot. Using liberal portions of journalistic licence, they had effectively portrayed me as a proper nut case, a thief and liar, someone the viewer should revile but also pity.

For the better part of a year, there was no relief. One news hound went as far as to suggest I should be arrested, then taken to Guantanamo Bay. He figured the authorities should charge me as a homeland terrorist. Nearly two years after my life changing event, the only reporters prepared to cover the story crawl out of the National Enquirer woodpile. My guess, after all the disappointment, it's probably best the media have moved on to the next, must read, Hollywood scandal.

Having been run through the main stream grinder, I have just about given up on any hope of expanding peoples sense of self. To be honest, when I first decided to share my story, I thought I would become famous. Convinced I was, this one story would completely shake the foundation of peoples world view. My imagination swirled with images of spiritual groups starting up everywhere. In my minds eye, people would be excited about a new beginning, they were literally be dancing in the streets.  Everyone, I thought, would naturally jump at the chance to finally love each other, to shed the weight of ignorance, live free like the birds in the sky.

Maybe there is a good reason for my hubris to bite me in the butt?

I can't say.

Whatever may come of this, I can't help think I did something wrong.

How could I have done a better job of presenting my story?

What if I had not doctored the video CD I released?

Still, to this day, I am totally confused as to why people never embraced the truth of unity consciousness. Tricked by our own eyes, humanity cannot see itself as a singular being. Although the philosophy is very strange, you must admit, the message is powerful, easy to grasp, enlightening. Never, for a second, did I anticipated the ridicule, hate and anger that arose from my choice to share my story.

How was I to know the media would hide the core messages of love and unity consciousness?

I didn't think it possible the story could get global coverage, while at the same time, fail to stimulate, or benefit, the spiritual core of all viewers and readers. Having said that; here I sit somewhat broken hearted. They tell me I was lucky there was not enough evidence to charge me with breaking and entering, theft, and who knows what else. The lawyer I will need to defend against the Banderas civil suit will surely wipe out my bank savings and then some. Most of my friends won't look at me. Even my family think I am certifiably bonkers. My status of social pariah seems permanent. Yet, all of this would be okay if the core messages had been received. Kelly suggested I write a short rendition of events to lightly illustrate what happened. What a wonderful friend I have in Kelly. Undoubtedly, she has paid a hefty price by publicly standing by my side. Times like this, have a way of taking friendship to a new level. I am not big on writing, but, the way I see it, I owed Kelly this one. What you are about to read is a tale of unity, I dedicate it to Kelly Fraser, my pal. Being frank, but hopefully not offensive, I really don't care if you believe me,

         Reality; The Tale of One Spirit

By. Karen L. Mulner

The story you are about to read is a direct account of an alien encounter that occurred on the outskirts of Crestview Alabama on the night of August the 9th 2013. The event lasted exactly two hours, commencing approximately 11:25 in the evening. 

This appeal to your senses may appear as a tall, fanciful, tale about the real me, the real you, and the beauty of our world. Alas, I believe it to be a simple story about truth. Irony is so delicious; this may represent your best chance at tasting the bitterness of your own insanity, enjoy.

                        The Alabama night was sultry, it seemed a perfect evening for entertaining a space alien. Fending off the humidity of late August, my bedroom window had been left ajar. Just enough it seemed to enable a light breeze to tease the sheer lace curtains into an inviting dance.

Hoping to gain a little respite from the stifling weather; I found myself sitting atop the old Cedar chest which had been strategically placed by my uncle Jim to double as a window seat. Elbows propped upon the sill, I could feel years of cracked and peeling paint etch, what I knew would soon be tiny red marks into my soft skin.

The night air flowed with just enough audacity to offer welcome relief from the relentless heat. My attention was somewhat distracted by an old Barred Owl. Cutting quite a handsome figure, he perched perfectly on a tree branch adjacent to the old barn in our courtyard. Usually an Owl would roost on the end of the barn joist whose mainstay was to serve support for the stately roof gable. On this evening his choice of the tree branch was a boon as it allowed for the moon to back light his every action. Like a judge on Quaalude, his head nervously bobbed about to and fro as he paid service to the demands of his inquisitive nature. Hyper vigilant, ever the predator, nature had trained the old bird to respond to every squeak or peep courageous enough to invade the silent night. Every now and again, he felt compelled to hoot at the world.

Who knows what he intended to say, or to whom? Possibly, he was trying to stir some prey. Just maybe, he too had a few misgivings about the oppressive weather. So much so, he felt obliged to share his thoughts with the local Cicadas.

Lightly aglow, with thanks to a bright languorous full moon, and a zillion sparkling diamonds, the sky too had captured my attention. Thinking with broader brush strokes; seduction was the word that would better describe the experience I was feeling. Looking back; it seemed to me, every feature of the quiet evening had me utterly captivated. Rarely do I spend time gazing at the night sky. As well, I really have no interest in fancy feathered friends, cute as they may be. I remember thinking, how odd it was to find myself standing agape in reverent observation of the night sky. It almost felt like it was not me, looking through my eyes, but someone else. Someone, who was processing information from a vastly altered perspective than I. Different values, likes or displeasure. Most would consider my evening entertainment rather banal. Television, or busy computer screen, often keeps me well distracted until the heaviness of my eyes demand I trundle off to the bathroom in preparation for bed. Rarely would I give a second thought to the moon, stars, or find myself preoccupied by a whip of an owl, cute as he might be.

Beyond any sensible rationale; I knew there was more to my actions. I felt it in my bones, a poignant anticipation filling the empty, quiet, space in my mind. Sadness, regret, were the best adjectives I could attribute to those strange feelings? It almost seemed like they were not my own thoughts, feelings or emotions.

But, if not from me, then who?

Tear drops moistened my cheek, giving credence to my betrayed feelings, whilst at the same time, adding accent to the emotional hijack of the moment. The mental charade was intensifying, I seemed unable to find origin to my own thoughts. Fear gripped me, the experience was indescribable, alien, most unpleasant.

What the hell was going on?

My first instinct was to run. But how do you run from something that has taken over your mind?

From the corner of my eye, I spied a slash of light originating from the field below. My first thought was, it could have been lightning. Quickly, I rebuffed the idea remembering it was a cloudless starry night. Moreover, in the depth of my heart, I knew it was a "Visitor".

"Visitor", what a strange word to associate with a flash of light.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up, I felt an uncomfortable tingle throughout my body. Fearful anticipation was punctuated by a short peel from the doorbell, "Visitor." There was that word again, "Visitor", this time, it was followed by a warm calming feeling and another word "Friend". Looking back on the event, it was amazing how wonderful the word "Friend" made me feel. Kind of like the word itself was magically dipped in a hot bubble bath. You know, the perfectly relaxed sensation you get when soaking in a tub at a high end spa like Gigi's on the strip downtown. All previous fear and concern had been cleansed from my mind. If in fact, it was still my mind. Anticipation and excitement would best describe how I felt as I pranced down the stairs to welcome my unexpected "Visitor / Friend".

Upon opening the door, I found myself completely gob smacked. My jaw was literally hanging agape. Shock, bewilderment, confusion, settled in as I stood face to face with a perfect clone of myself.

Slowly, as if in a trance, I began checking off a mental identification list; the tiny mole in exactly the right spot on my cheek, that nose of mine, I never liked, was, unfortunately, an exact replica. My hair, a little oily from missing this mornings shower, the scar under my chin that I received falling off my bicycle when I was five. Holding my hand to my face, I realised even the annoying Zit on my left nostril, had persisted in the visage of this bizarre duplicate.

How could this be?

What the hell was going on?

Her clothes were also a perfect copy of what I was wearing at the time, even down to the small threadbare tears just beginning to show a hole in the knees of my favourite knockabout jeans. My God, the blueberry stain, which taunts me so, is also on the right sleeve of my sweatshirt. I never could get that clean. I looked myself up and down, looked at her, then at myself again. Having processed all this information in a matter of a few seconds, I promptly fainted. The next thing I remember, I was laying on my sofa and she was right there above me asking if I was okay. Her voice, was my voice, her face was mine, I thought to myself, am I dead. I guess I said that aloud as she answered,

Alien: "No you are alive, in fact, you seem just fine to me. Oh, to answer to your last thought, you are not losing your mind Karen, this is real and it is happening right, now. First, let me assure you that you are in no danger, I am your friend Karen, in fact, as you are slowly coming to realised, I am 'another you'. Before you loose consciousness again Karen, let me explain. Earlier, when you were sitting by the window looking at the stars, moon, and that beautiful little owl, you had the feeling your thoughts were not your own, in fact, you puzzled over what was happening feeling like the emotional responses were somewhat alien, am I right."  

Karen: "How do you know about all of that? Have you been spying on me? Where are you from?"

Alien: "No I have not been spying, at least not in the sense you are thinking of. What you were experiencing Karen was me slowly showing you that you and I are a singularity, we only appear to be separate beings Karen. My planet of origin is in the Alturian constellation, the specific name of my world does not translate into your language, it lies far beyond the vision of your Hubble telescope. I chose to appear before you this evening as a perfect reflection of yourself. My thinking was that it might just be the most non confrontational and pleasant way to introduce myself."

Karen: : "I hope you don't mind me saying this, you are a real idiot. You scared the shit out of me, I thought I was loosing my mind. To top it all off; you ring my bell and appear as a bloody clone. When I opened the door and saw myself standing there I, well, you experienced the results. What is with you copying my voice, that has to stop, you are making me nuts. Is this all real or have I really gone over the deep end."?

Alien: "Like I said before Karen; this is very real, touch me, I don't bite. (Karen tentatively reaches to touch the alien clone) The voice and cloned appearance can go. I can be anyone you want me to be Karen, your father, mother, friend, lover, celebrity, politician, even a historical figure or cartoon character." As you can hear, my imitation of John Lennon is pretty good, I know you are a big fan of his music. Would you rather I was John, how does this look."

Karen: "Holy cow, this is wild, why didn't you pick John in the first place?"

Alien: "Would you have been less freaked out.?"

Karen: "Hell yes, but I guess I still would have thought I lost my nuts. You seem to know everything about me, are you God?"

Alien: "As it stands, I am God, but then again, so are you."

Karen: "Say what, you think I am God, sure I am, it's your story so you can tell it any way you wish. Hey what do I call you? John, God, or do you have another name."

Alien: "You would not be able to pronounce my real name Karen, however, lets make this easy, you pick any character and I will play the part."

Karen: "All right; I can warm up to the idea, I want you to be Antonio Banderas, not today's Antonio, but the 1992 Mambo Kings version, oh, and take off the shirt if you don't mind Antonio darling."

Alien: "How is this Karen."

Karen: (Blushing with a wide grin) "That works for me Antonio. Lets go up to my bedroom."

Antonio: "Remember Karen, I am you, so while we are together, your mind is mine. Do you really think a sexual romp is what you want most from our experience tonight. I should tell you, we only have one hour and 43 minutes left together, the portal you saw flash earlier only stays open for two hours."

Karen: "Are you kidding me Antonio? (deep guttural growl) Take off your pants tiger, there will be plenty of time to talk later."

Karen: (Smoking a cigarette, in Cheshire cat mode) "Damn Antonio, I have wanted that ever since I was a teenager, thanks, you are a real sweetheart."

Antonio: "I had never thought it could be so amazing, you read about the mating protocols of other species, you think you have a good idea of what it would be like, but then when you get a chance to personally experience the feelings and emotions first hand, that truly is an entirely different matter. I would not have chosen a mating ritual as a good use of our time, but, in retrospect, I must admit I was wrong. Truly Karen, thank you, there could have been no better place to start."

Karen: "Damn, I should have video taped this crazy adventure"

Antonio: "Your wish was my command Karen. This entire experience, including your thoughts recorded in text, has already been digitally etched in HD with Dolby sound. There are two discs on the coffee table. I made sure to include all your thoughts as text, I used those cute cartoon bubbles just like in the comics. For a point of reference, I even added the text of your thoughts from ten minutes prior to my first impression on your mind, up to, and including, your thoughts the ten minutes after I leave. Which reminds me, we only have 56 minutes left Karen. The second disc you see on the table is a duplicate of the first with the text of your thoughts edited out. Our meeting  Karen is meant to be a mutual education."

Karen: "Hold on Antonio; how can you have recorded and edited, my thoughts, our meeting, before it has even concluded? Correct me if I am wrong, but you haven't left yet, have you?"

Antonio: "I am glad you asked me that question Karen. Time, as experienced as a function of the human condition is illusory. To answer your question, yes, I have already left. You see Karen, time is not linear, it only appears that way to the Ego. There is no collection of separate events Karen, your Ego mind tricks you into believing a false reality. Time as perceived by your GodSelf identity, expresses itself devoid of past, present, or future, the GodSelf perceives only the moment of NOW. Encapsulated within this NOW moment are all expressions, all events that has ever, or will ever, occur. Let me try to frame this in a physical context Karen; think of time as a record album that has been infinitely expanded to include the totality of consciousness. This NOW moment we share together, this is just one point where the stylus touches the album. The song, our song Karen, has already been recorded, the play has already been performed. We don't create our destiny Karen, we are the actors who enable it to manifest. Imagine yourself to be the writer, actor, stage and audience all wrapped up into one. You are that eternal totality from the Alpha to the Omega."

Karen: "This is crazy Antonio, my life has not been preordained, I am not reading from a script. I make choices every waking moment, I chose to answer the door, I chose to let you in my home Antonio. I could have just as easily chosen to go to bed, or watch some T.V. You say that CD over there on the table has me talking to you for another 50 minutes or so. What if I kicked you out of my house right now? What if I put the CD in my player this very moment and fast forwarded it to the end, would it terminate in the present, or one an hour from now after you have left?"

Antonio: "I experience reality from a different perspective Karen, I see your past, and have already lived your future. The subject of time is very difficult to comprehend when your world is filtered by the EgoSelf. Yes, you do experience choice Karen, in fact, each choice you make is an integral part, albeit infinitesimal, of the path consciousness takes. Consciousness is the GodSelf experiencing beingness, it everything, now and forever a singularity. This thing we call life incorporates dualism as it's prime function Karen, this is what affords you the experience of choice. What you fail to realise is that you are the totality, therefore the world which appears to be 'out there' is really (touching Karen's heart) in here."

Karen: "Antonio, you seem to be separating me into two parts, my EgoSelf and my GodSelf, am I both? I don;t think I have a big Ego Antonio, I am down to earth, I don't think too highly of myself, and I care a good deal for what happens to others. In fact many friends and family tell me I should think more of myself and less of others."

Antonio: "Very astute assertion Karen, you are not both, there is only one true you, as I mentioned before, the real you is God." You seem to be mixing up the definition of the EgoSelf Karen. Ego is not about you having a big head and thinking you are the best at everything, nor is Ego about solely identifying with the needs of the self above the needs of others. Ego is a filter, every human is 100% afflicted by the Ego filter Karen. Again, lets use a real world example to describe how the EgoSelf works. Think of Ego as a filter on a camera lens Karen. If you imagine your eyes to be the camera, then everything you see will be altered by the Ego filter. Now, with that image of a filter in mind, imagine if the filter were to sully all of your senses in the same manner, whereas, everything you see, hear, smell, taste and touch is altered by the Ego filter. Your entire perception of reality, every thought, feeling, emotion, you experience in your life percolates through, and is altered by, the filter. If the Ego filter were like a rose coloured lens, which bathes your reality in a soft, loving expression that would be cool. Or, if the filter, in some way, accentuated your vision of reality, making your world a more beautiful place, then Ego would serve as an obvious benefit. The truth is Karen, Ego is a deceiver, it casts upon your sense of consciousness an inverted perspective of true reality. Moreover, Ego is a purveyor of illusion. Ego has you believe that you are separate from all other aspects of reality, when the truth is you are unified with all you experience. Lets be clear on this Karen; everything you perceive in this version of reality is you. Ego convinces you that you are separate from the world you play in, the truth is, the world you see out there is 'another you'. Ego has you believe in linear time, which thereby convinces you death is imminent, as a result, you perceive that, like all other creatures, have an expiry date. Under the illusion of Ego you fail to see that you are God, you are infinite, omnipotent, omnipresent, you are the totality of all conscious expression, the creator of worlds, the divinity personified."  

Karen: "Let me get this straight Antonio, firstly, I have to say, you are a sweet man but, with due respect, what you are telling me is absolute nonsense. If what you say is true, I am you, I am my mother and my father. I am Adolph Hitler, Obama, I am even the poop that falls out my butt each morning. Your version of reality means that I am also the sun, moon, the trillions of stars in the countless galaxies, I am everything that has ever been or ever will be! As much as I find your story telling to be intriguing Antonio, you must understand, from my perspective, there are only three possibilities; you are either trying to make me crazy, you are yourself crazy, or this is some kind of alien spaceman game, which is true Antonio?"

Antonio: "Think about what you have experienced thus far Karen. I entered your mind and experienced your reality through my eyes. Although you have yet to assimilate the vision, you saw me appear from a flash of blue light. You experienced me change form at will. I have proven to you time is not linear, once you have viewed the disc on the desk over there this lesson will become apparent. I have read your mind and appear capable of knowing you entire past. Do you not concede that my powers of observation might just be a little more advanced than yours? Furthermore Karen, this very moment, I can feel in the depth of your heart that you already know all I have said to be truth. As the expression goes Karen, you can feel it in your bones."

Karen: "I grant you Antonio that everything you say appears to be truth. What about mind control, this could all be happening in my mind? Is it not possible Antonio that none of the things you say happened are real, that you are an alien capable of messing with my head, no different than a stage personality who tricks the audience into believing they are eating an apple when in reality it is a potato. That really happened to me Antonio, so I know it is possible to twist someones sense of reality. Lets keep some perspective Antonio, after all, I just had sex with Antonio Banderas, the Mombo King version at that, how can you think I could believe all of this is real?"

Antonio: "What is reality Karen?

Humans inadvertently agree to believe the world is a physical place, even though your scientists have proven long ago reality is a matrix of energy, anything but physical, static and solid. Your mere existence makes reality happen Karen, again, science has long since proven the 'real' world can not exist in the absence of 'you' the conscious observer. The mass of humanity is convinced time is a linear expression, even though logic defines time to be anything but. You seem concerned that I am a trickster responsible for twisting reality into false perception. I find this dialogue interesting Karen, especially flavourful, because every moment of your existence thus far has been an experience of being tricked by Ego into believing in a false reality, which by the way, is the exact opposite of the 'real' reality. My visit this fine evening allows you, for the first time in your life, to dispel the trickery of Ego thereby exposing the reality of your GodSelf, and you label me charlatan. Presently, you can't see the sweet irony of our encounter Karen, but I can change that."

Karen: "What do you mean Antonio, I see an impasse here. You are trying to convince me of the veracity of this meeting, whereas, I maintain it to be some form of mental trickery. It stands to reason that whatever you do to further convince me of your assertions Antonio will inevitably fall prey to my overarching assessment of your most obvious capacity to deceive. I find this entire experience to be exhilarating, but at the same time tiresome and unsettling. I don't mind saying you are scaring me Antonio, I am still not sure if I am losing my mind, it all seems so real but it just can't be. Part of me wants our time together to end so that I can experience being sane again. Another part of me wants this to go on forever, it all seems so fanciful. With your help, I could experience whatever I wanted, anything could seem real, like a fairytale of my own design. This reminds me of the holodeck on Star Trek Antonio, I could be a movie star, beautiful, rich, partnered with whoever I wanted, living a dream life forever without care."

Antonio: "From my perspective Karen, I was hoping our time together would leave you with a foundation to model your life beyond the illusions which presently plague your experience of day to day life. To a certain extent, I believe I have let you down. We seem to have focused on trivial fancies which promote material and Egoic gratification. Your vision of how my presence could benefit you is stymied by fanciful desires of wealth, fame, and hubris. Conversely Karen; I know the ultimate gift our relationship could realise has no material value, rather, it is a bestowal of knowledge. Happiness can never be chained to wealth Karen, true happiness is solely a function of a persons ability to see beyond illusion. The funny thing about knowledge is that one never misses what they do not know, hence, the expression ignorance is bliss. Turning the coin over; ignorance is far from blissful if one cannot, at the very least, determine one's identity as a GodSelf being. We have such a little time together Karen, words seem to have failed us, therefore, I believe we would make significantly more headway if I were to show you what it truly means to be God. If you desire Karen I can show you what it is like to be me. The act of transferring consciousness from one being to another is rather easy, in fact, earlier on, when you were looking at the owl and the night sky I had almost complete control of your consciousness. The reason you felt the thoughts feeling and emotions were not your own Karen is because they were mine. During that time, I diverted much of your emotional sensors leaving you with only your primary motor skills and the essence of your R complex. It is essential to leave the reptilian complex of Ego driven beings intact if one is to prevent multiple personality disorder.

Karen: "This all sounds a bit scary Antonio, I consider myself to be a very sane and rational person, I wouldn't want to end up in a loony bin after this evenings adventures. So far it has been extraordinary meeting you Antonio and you seem to wish me well, tell me what do you have in mind, how would it work, and most importantly, what are the risks?"

Antonio: "Think of it like Alice in Wonderland, or Neo from the matrix. I simply would take your hands and place them on my temples, within a few seconds images of my reality would begin flickering in your mind somewhat like disjointed frames of a movie. If you embrace my though patterns and openly accept the transition, then, the assimilation of my sensory and emotional experiences would heighten. If all goes well; you will assimilate my brains messaging centre as if were your own. In essence Karen you will see the world through my eyes. It is important to note; just like I cannot totally take over your mind, you cannot mine, therefore, you would experience about 80% of my mind. Excluded from your purview would be the GodSelf essence of who I am, which is the equivalent of your R complex, as well, my primary motor skills will of course remain with me. This exercise only works if you accept the data stream Karen, simply stated, the less resistance from you, the more you see through my eyes. Moreover, the closer we come to a full meld, the more of my emotional make up you will access. The keys to a successful mind meld Karen is trust and relaxation. The entire experience normally lasts as long as you wish, however, we are limited by the fifteen or so minutes we have left before I must leave. Unfortunately, having finished, we will have little time but to offer each other a quick farewell. It is unfortunate we will have no opportunity to discuss your journey into my mind Karen, with that said, I doubt you will be left disappointed. The most important thing you need to know Karen is that there is absolutely no risk to your physical or mental well being. In my homeland, it is common for family, friends and acquaintances to meld minds. We derive great pleasure from the process as it affords both parties the chance to love each other with a clearer understanding of how best to serve each other's emotional needs."

Karen: "Okay Antonio, I trust you, let's do this." (Antonio places Karen's hands on his temples, soon thereafter, tears begin gushing from Karen).

*** The following represents, as best I can describe, what the experience was like in Antonio's mind. You must appreciate, many of the things I saw, thought, and felt were so foreign that it is almost impossible to give you even a taste of how impactful the overarching message of unity consciousness is. This will be like trying to describe ice cream to someone, all the words in the world could never replace the tiniest of tastes, none the less, I will do my best to impart upon you the spirit of love.

to be continued.....

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Earth Girls Are Easy.... Touching Nothingness Part 2

Where to begin?

Begin at the beginning of course, where else!

But if I start at the beginning, then, I will have to start in a place that is not real to my readers, it is somewhere they never experienced. If I do that, then I am afraid they will think me crazy!

You are crazy....... Try starting with a fairytale.


Imagine you are Alice, the rabbit, Mr. Nivens McTwisp, is begging your attention. Did you see him skip down that hole? He want's you to follow him...... and so you do. Down you go, tumbling into a world of make believe, without warning, you find yourself luxuriating on a cloud of feathers. Nothing here seems real, everywhere you turn a fantasy land expands at the whim of your imagination. Immediately, you discover your mind has become inexorably affixed to your present reality. Each and every fanciful image, or event, which trespass across your thoughts, magically come to life in the blink of an eye. You have become a reality constructing artist. Easel pitched for performance, you propel life onto a blank canvass with the speed and alacrity of a Saharan Genie stoned on cocaine. Awesome is this wealth of power, you prance across ever changing landscapes, skipping through time and space like a blissed out river otter on a sunny day. Revelling in your new found prowess, you contrive one exciting moment after another.

The other side catches you off guard, the fear arose from nowhere and everywhere all at once. One moment, you experience great joy as you close in on the precipice of a massive roller coaster drop. The very next moment, a tinge of angst begins to build in the back of your consciousness. Creeping silently, that first what if thought presents itself. You know these coasters are safe, they hardly ever crash, right? Rationality soon flies out the window as you teeter, for the briefest of moments, on the edge of disaster. Your heart races; anticipation builds, then all hell breaks loose. Instantly, your world goes pitch black. Much to your chagrin, you discover the amusement park has been replaced by an underground cavern of sorts. The smell of wet concrete fills your nostrils. Cool, heavy, damp air carpets the locale in a eerie silence. Darkness pumps fear into your pounding heart. Your knees and hands shake uncontrollably as you fumble for your trusty Zippo lighter. The purchase of silence you unwittingly enjoyed is interrupted by a steady sound of the Zippo wheel futilely skidding across the flint underfoot. Again and again, the trusty lighter fails to reward your most earnest of demands. Fatigued by effort, you pause.

Just as you are about to renew your challenge, the eerie silence is broken by another most unsettling of sounds. Unmistakable is this trumpet which brokers your attention. Your qualified ears know its source, however, you belligerently refuse to come to terms. Your heart pounds fast as a humming bird, you remain perfectly still, frozen like an ice statue, you simply cannot move. The sound amplifies, it grows frightfully near, there are more than one, there are many, they are slithering!

Frantically, you grind your thumb into the wheel. Again and again, you feverishly beg it to catch. Finally, the flint dries enough to spark. One tiny flash of light, then another, hope rises until, miraculously, the lighter sputters to life. Instantly, you lower the lighter thereby illuminating your greatest fear. Snakes, hundreds, possibly thousands, of them litter the ground. Some coiled into slimy balls, others wandering about looking for their next victim, a couple of the vipers with arched backs are preparing to strike. You find yourself with back against the wall.

Illuminating your surroundings, you discover what you once believed to be a cavern, now appears in the dull yellow Zippo light as a large sewer tunnel. The semi circular walls, grey, cold, and wet, frame the floor which appears evenly mottled with puddles amply strewn throughout. There seems no point of escape. The walls, smooth and unsightly, offer no doorway, nor does there appear to be stairs, pipes, or ladders which might provide a timely release from this most nasty of predicaments. Reaching for normalcy, you try to escape the charade, but, like gum stuck on the bottom of your runners on a hot summer day, you find separation will not come easy, if at all. The snakes approach, once subtle sounds of their presence has now amplified into a frenzied din. Suddenly, you experience absolute silence. Your perception of reality transcends into a slow motion portrayal of, you, acting out your final moments of life. Warm urine streams carelessly down your leg, following the road of least resistance, destination, left Nike sneaker, size eight. You close your eyes. Bracing for that first hypodermic impact, all hope is lost.

Released from the visual drama of the moment, you suddenly realise, this is your world, you are the creator. Sunshine instantly warms your face, you squint adjusting to the blinding rays. Focusing in on your newest playground; you spy a vista of beautiful rolling hills accented by an oceanic backdrop belching out the welcoming sounds of surf. Flowers, and the scent of freshly mowed hay, fills the air. Tiny, yellow breasted, songbirds chirp in the nearby alder tree, as a tiny bumble bee bumps against the tip of your nose. Great puffy clouds float overhead framing, what many would consider, an Edenic world. Sweat dripping off your brow, heart rate finally dropping below two hundred, you lay back to savour the morning scene.

Wow, what a freaky trip was that! Everything was upside down, dreams and nightmares were created in the blink of an eye. Having now travelled through this Wonderland Alice, how will you describe what you have just experienced?

Alas, you discover the problem which confronts me now. Where to begin?

This is the challenge before me dear reader, what words could I possibly draw upon to convince you the Wonderland I experienced is a real place?

Wouldn't you think me crazy?

This Wonderland of mind twisting make believe is exactly where I found myself immediately after Antonio had touched his hands to my temple. I was not able to create my own reality as described in the aforementioned fairy tale. Regretfully, I never encountered a neurotically quirky rabbit who invited me for lunch, nor did I find a talking Cat with a broad beautiful smile. However, I did discover a uniquely crafted world. As well, this new reality was far, far, different than the one you and I are used to living in now. More importantly; I am here to tell you, the world Antonio showed me is the only real world. If you believe my story to be true, you will have to confront the fact our world, this three dimensional playground we call Earth, is better described as a dream. We serve ourselves best when we accept what science has been telling us for years; this universe and all manifest reality, is no more physical than a mathematically constructed hologram. Like Einstein said, "Reality is an illusion...". Heck, if you think Wonderland was a weird mind trip for Alice, you will soon discover the places Antonio took me were nothing short of a total mind melt. Amazing as my journey into Antonio's mind was, I still have to find some way to describe it, so here goes.

The very first place Antonio took me to was a "non place"!

There you go, I said it.                      

                                    "Non Place"

Spend a few moments to envision what "Non Place" means to you. How do those two words make you feel? 

Having discussed this topic with many people, from all walks of life, experience has taught me the topic of "Non Place" is a good deal similar to a fart in an elevator, people just don't know how to react. Children seem to find the concept of non place easier to grasp than adults. I have noticed the descriptive comments used by children often ring true with how I experienced non locality. Oddly, the segment of society which seem to have the most difficulty imagining non locality are the scientists. For the most part, scientists tend to ramble on with their physics and maths, asking me technical questions I have no prayer of answering. When my descriptions fail to meet their model of the universe, they often become rude, dismissive, or worse. 

For you, my favoured reader, if pressed to offer a little help, let me suggest you don't try to imagine, or picture, non locality as a place in your mind. Instead, try to "be" non locality. If this answer is too cryptic, may I suggest you start with what love feels like, then stick love in a vacuum. I know I am not helping you much. Truly, I am sorry my vocabulary fails me in my bid to open this door. Children seem to have many more roads they can turn their imagination down, I think we lose a good deal of that skill as we mature into adults. For some reason, if I ask a child to imagine the unimaginable, I can't say where their mind will go, but, I am sure they will try. Whenever I ask an adult the same question, all I usually get in return are questions, demands for further qualification, and resistance. Knowing nothingness, is a key to knowing who you are. With this in mind, I find it incumbent upon me to try a little harder to express, if even vaguely, the dimensions of this non reality.    

What is a non place?

The best way I could describe non locality is to say that it is a place of "being" not "doing" or "experiencing". Your first tendency will be to reach for an experiential anchor, be aware no such anchor exists. Here, nothing is experienced, this is the ultimate absence of separation. Few people can relate, in any way, to such a state of awareness. The odd Buddhist monk might have an inkling of what this state is like, however, even the most adept at meditation would have a hard time imagining this non place. Aside from children, and those who habitually meditate, another group of people who seem to be better suited to the task of capturing the feeling of "Non Place" are users of psychedelics. The longer the history with drugs, the better equipped they seem to be, especially valuable is experience with mushrooms, LSD, heroin, ayahuasca and peyote. Generally speaking, when I explain this weird non locale to the average person, the following is a synopsis of their thought process.

What does a "Non Place" look like? 

When I say absolute nothingness, they get a weird look in their eyes, most people usually blurt out.

Does that mean everything was pitch black? 

My response to them again is; "No, it was abject nothingness." at this point in the conversation they seem to hit a conceptual brick wall. You can see it clearly written on their faces, they are befuddled beyond repair. The most persistent listener, the person who really wants to know, will take that final last step, they will ask that ultimate question.

You probably already know the most likely next question to spew forth from the inexorably perplexed mind. Don't you?

Well, was it all white then? 

Alas, I must admit dear reader, my unqualified, but no less assured, answer; "No, it was absolute nothingness", does little to further their investigation. These poor inquisitive souls are destined to never approach the concept of non locality, especially if their final query was based in a compunction to hammer out an identifiable experience. Feeling sorry to have placed them into this enigma, I usually try to help resolve their quandary a little. If so inclined, I might add something akin to the following; "There is no experience, there is only the ultimate singularity. This singularity is expressed as nothingness, this nothingness is "YOU". As you can imagine, my added clarification does little to satisfy their need to fulfill the senses. Senses fulfilled or not, most people will try their best to keep up with the Wonderland fantasy I describe, however, it is not uncommon to hear them utter the following commentary as they make leave.

So, let me get this straight.... you are telling me in this Wonderland non place.... I am nothingness! 

To which I answer, exactly!

Dealing with one person at a time is hard enough, when you broach this topic with big audiences it can easily become a zoo. Experience with countless audiences has taught me; most people think that if a place isn't describable, it's not pitch black, or absolute white, then hell, that place just doesn't exist. The larger the audience, the greater impact those three questions will have.  You can see it in their eyes, you can feel the unease in the building, really, it's palpable, everyone shuts down. You can almost hear them mouthing the words.....     

She    j u s t   f a r t e d   i n   o u r   e l e v a t o r!!!

I digress, I don't mean to always defend myself to you the reader, lately, the media bashing has me on the defensive all the time. Try as I might, I am having a hard time remembering, this is not T.V., your objective is not to beat me down. If you have read this far, my guess is, you actually want to wander around in the rabbit hole. Maybe you want to believe it's all real. Most importantly, I think you are prepared to accept that you, and the world live in, might actually be something entirely different than what you believe it is. With that said, I will not dwell further on trying to qualify my story. Forge ahead I will, I promise to do my level best as I describe the events, and even the non events, of what transpired. As they say, we will throw caution to the wind and let the dice fall as they may.

Having stumbled through my opening; the only further description of non locality, or non perception, would be to think of it as an emotion and NOT an event. You can't touch, physically describe, or articulate what a strong emotion would look like. None the less emotions are a most powerful presence in your existence. When you experience emotion, it does not take up space in your closet, but it does impact your life and it is real. Although we cannot, touch, see, or put a hat on our feelings, they remain quantifiable, tangible. Evidence encourages you to justifiably suggest that emotions have a presence, that they do exist.

Experiencing the 'non place', one realises there is no separation. The contrasts created by the appearance of separation all slip away, there is no black, nor white, no up nor down, equally, there is no you nor me, there is only "THE ONE"! While you are in this non space, you don't know why, or how, but somehow, you are convinced 'THE ONE' is you. You know, right in the core of your beingness, that you are the totality of all which exists. Without definition, proof, evidence, or experience, you know the drop of water has finally returned to the ocean. It's a wild ride my brethren, trust me, this is far more bizarre than anything Alice found during her outlandish travels in Wonderland.

(Dear reader, for your own benefit, please do not let this revealing moment idly pass you by. STOP take a few golden minutes to imagine your true identity as the GodSelf. How do you feel this divine identity changes your experience of the world? Knowing the totality of all manifest reality, past, present, and future, is YOU should have an impact, no?)

While in the 'non place', you are enthralled, at a core level, by the awesomeness of the GodSelf. Whilst revelling in the grand expanse of your new found identity, you are also presented with the most obvious fact that your Godly alter identity is nothingness. The golden nugget of the GodSelf acting in the playground of infinite consciousness is dually opposed by the GodSelf expressionless in the realm of quiet perfection. This singular beingness, undiluted, undivided, pure in essence, is overwhelming to one who has only experienced being the drop and not the ocean. However powerful this ultimate presence may seem, we know it as a quiet partner in our daily lives. We touch its sleeve every waking moment, it is what we humans call "LOVE".

Finding myself having to define the GodSelf to others is, as you might imagine, quite a chore. Aside from dealing with the distrust, accusations, verbal assaults, and other similar obstacles, there is the tedium of trying to find vocabulary inroads which will encourage people to open their hearts to the truth of who they are. One benefit of carrying the message of GodSelf has been that sometimes people ask questions which help me better frame the experience. One such question came from a man up in Canada, I think he said he was from the city called Alberta. In any regard, he asked me the following;

"You have said that the moment Antonio touched you, instantly you knew yourself to be God. As you put it, you knew your true identity as all manifest reality, past, present and future. Considering, you said you were in a 'non place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?

At the time, I could not offer the gentleman a reasonable answer. My only recourse was to suggest that it was like a seed had been planted in my heart. Having arrived back home after my Canadian media tour, I thought deeper on his question. For whatever reason, pondering this question drove me directly to a Eureka moment.

"In one's search to define the GodSelf identity, the adept most often asks, who am I? In time, the resilient learner will adjust one's sight on the more important question, who am I not?"

The moment Antonio touched my temples, I discovered who I am not. I am not a something, I have no physical form. This illusion we call reality is a matrix of ones and zeros, a mathematical Rubik cube where everything is perfect, yet nothing is "real". The 'non place', stripped away all the things that I thought were real. Concepts like space, time and the physical nature of our world were proven false. The separateness inherent in the three dimensional illusion we call life was replaced by the knowledge of unity consciousness. Amalgamating separateness into the whole, I discovered that what remained was so powerful it caused me to relentlessly sob in its presence.

                        LOVE     LOVE    LOVE     LOVE     LOVE     LOVE     LOVE                          

What I learned from my trip to Antonio's Wonderland is that you, me, the whole enchilada we call space / time is really LOVE. It hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks! Wow, you have no idea how mind blowing such a discovery can be. Trust me when I say, you would not be able to do anything other than bawl your eyes out with absolute joy. We are not talking about happiness here, this is a joy like nothing you could ever imagine. Think of how you would feel if you knew in the deepest recesses of your heart that you are GOD! You are the universe! The universe before you was never "out there", illusion aside, the universe is really YOU divided into an infinite amount of characters enabling you to forge a grand play call life. The neighbour who you hate, the lover in your bed, the moon above your head, the sun that cracks open a new day, it's all you.

How would this revelation change your world Alice?

What about, love thy neighbour as you would yourself, makes sense doesn't it Alice?

So this is the real you, the totality of all existence, while at the same time, love in it's purest form.


                                W O W      

You always thought that you started and ended somewhere. You, against the world, struggling to survive. Strip away the illusion of physical reality dear reader, when the barriers have all fallen only love will remain. We all think we know what love is. The society we live in causes us to accept a watered down philosophy of love which is, unfortunately, firmly pinned to act as a function of self gratification. Take everything away, there is no thinking, nor physical form. In an environment bereft of experiential distinction no judgement can exist, good or bad, right or wrong, these things have no soil to root in, all that remains is BLISS.

So dear reader, to underline the answer to my friendly Canadian's query "in a 'non place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?"

You can't know yourself at all, you can only BE yourself. Trust me when I say, the 'non experience' you get when visiting the 'non place' is more than you, or anyone, could handle. More JOY JOY than you could ever imagine was possible, you would find, like I did, there is nothing left but to sob with gratitude. Discover your own magnificence, see if your knees don't buckle and your heart doesn't explode.

Grand as it was, dear reader, the non place was just the beginning, Antonio showed me many more amazing revelations, each as fantastic as the first. Let us take a little ride together, with what Antonio shared with me, you can reveal your true identity as well.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Earth Girls Are Easy; Lighting up the self Part 3

Pray tell; what rabbit hole can be so amazing it forces you to challenge everything you ever believed? The ultimate trip, a spiritual and intellectual Wonderland of truth, of which, you exit reprogrammed, redefined, a new being. Could any tale, or personal experience, provide the ingredients necessary to extract you from your slumber. What would it take for you to unequivocally state, I AM GOD, I am the eternal consciousness, the totality of all beingness, a singularity in the absence, or presence, of time and space.

Antonio, in allowing me entrance into his mind, exposed my true GodSelf identity in the form of nothingness. The representation of "self" as nothingness triggered within my psyche a deep knowing of my "self" as infinite and eternal LOVE.  The experience of true nothingness, although immensely valuable, unraveled in my mind as an esoteric enigma, difficult to stab at with a fork, impossible to investigate under a microscope. One need only read my illustration of this experience to appreciate the controversial affront it represents to the box defined by our material five sense world. Myself, or my reader, seeking to gain enlightenment from the event, find the lessons cryptic, elusive, slippery, conjectural grey matter in a world where only black and white merit definition. If Antonio had left me with nothingness as a single impression of "self", I may have spiritually floundered on rocks of uncertainty, which is why I cherish the opportunity to share with you, my faithful reader, a journey into the totality of GodSelf consciousness.

Familiar, most of us are, with the quote in Genesis 1.1;

" God said let there be light, and there was light. God saw that light was good, so he separated the light from the dark."

Although I detest most everything the bible espouses, I must admit that Genesis offers a sensible starting point for those who endeavor to define the physical playground created, and inhabited, by the conscious mind. I say this because, the transition Antonio's memories afforded me as I migrated from "nothingness" to "totality" began with a rush of light. Difficult as it may be for you, the reader, to grasp; the best description I can offer is to suggest that infinite light pulsated from my heart. Each beat shouted a unified message;

                                                   I AM LIGHT.... I AM LOVE...

One single eternal message composed solely of light vibrating and refracting throughout the universe in an infinite array of frequencies. Each frequency representing a different physical form, yet each form echoing the same eternal, fractal, truth.

                                                   I AM LIGHT... I AM LOVE...

Weeping with joy, as the menagerie of life unfolded from the depth of my heart, I realized;

                                              I AM GOD..... I AM THE CREATOR....

Powerful as this experience was, it was not dressed in egoic clothing. I did not envision my "self" as the sole creator, the I BIG AM, standing above another. Instead, I came to the realization that there is nothing in existence, past, present, or future, which is not light, love, or if you prefer, God. Illuminated by this powerful message, I reached out into the great cosmic expanse to embrace my brethren. Each being I encountered offered a differ perspective. Each, a unique and infinitely valuable reflection of God.

Wading through the galactic menagerie proved to be a timeless journey, a short visit to the Jurassic period favored me with a peek into the raw power of T Rex, as well as, the awesome freedom enjoyed by a Pterodactyl as she effortlessly glides under the heavens. Reeling forward to the present generation; I will never forget the feeling of gracious servitude imparted upon me by experiencing life as a giant Secoya tree. Panoramically situated off the San Francisco coast, this phenomenal living giant towered above it's brethren inhaling loving rays of light whilst exhaling her own love in the form of oxygen to nourish all those who may scurry below her stately boughs. Many people have a hard time believing that a tree could feel, or express an emotional response, to them I say, you could not be further from the mark.

Delving deeper into the unimaginable; a trip into the consciousness of our Sun was, for fear of using a trite descriptive tag, absolutely indescribable. Touching the heart of Earth's Sun invoked such profound feelings of unconditional love that all else I have ever experienced pales in comparison. Thinking back on the experience, I find it ironic, even perplexing, that there could be so few words to express what it feels like to be the Sun. By contrast, if someone were to inquire as to what it was like to exist in the world as a drop of water, or if they were to demand I elaborate on how it felt to touch the consciousness of a frog, I think I could speak for hours. Yet, if one were to ask me to expand upon what it was like to tap into the consciousness of the Sun, I would have nothing to say but indescribable. Often, I have thought that if I could put this one experience into words, then I would have truly defined love. Possibly, the Sun represents such a pure embodiment of love that it exists in an experiential vacuum. Perhaps, unconditional love, in such absolute purity, is meant to define itself as the brightest incarnation of nothingness. Will the masses of humanity someday reach into this alien world of singularity as presented in my travels through Antonio's mind? I sure hope so, until then, scientists who dither over the Sun's composition, may be best served to put aside their speculation and just call it LOVE GOO.

Closer to home, yet still enthralled by celestial beings, our beautiful blue girl Gaia can best be described as compassion incarnate. Gaia, like so many of God's creations who humanity refuses to acknowledge as living, caring, beings, faithfully serves us without reservation, condemnation or desired recompense. She feeds, cares for and servers us with her entire being. Do we reciprocate her love, tend her needs, respect her presence, or learn from her compassion? I regret to point out, we fail in every regard. Stripping Gaia of her title as honorary mother has somehow afforded humanity justification for treating her as a consumable. We, who fail to act on her behalf, are culpable. Prior to my commune with her, I admit responsibility for propagating a hideous disregard and lack of loving compassion. Not that I carelessly destroyed the Earth, but my complacency, lack of education and apathy, contributed in kind to the abuse she must endure. Our relationship with Gaia once was strong, reverent, and loving. Humanity must rediscover this precious bond with her, to this end, each of us are responsible for playing a part, small or large, in the restoration of ancient knowledge, the brokering of love and the rekindling of respect. Regardless of our behaviour, Gaia conducts herself with equanimity. She continues to feed, love, adore and selflessly attend to our every desire. Seeing humanity behave as a poisonous, greedy, callous, cancerous blight causes me to question our society; is ignorance the only master humans are capable of serving well? Someday we may realize the folly of our path, however, from my vantage point, this day of reckoning seems painfully distant.

Leaving Gaia's presence felt like leaving home, the same emotions we all know well when circumstance calls us to depart from loved ones of whom we cherish greatly. Tumbling off toward the heart of our galaxy, I experienced the classic depiction of Earth slowly diminishing from view. Soon Gaia became a small dot entangled with countless stars, each, shining with a personal life force, an undeniable GodSelf identity. Within a whisker of time, a colourful, exciting, backdrop danced against a canvass of darkness. Closing my eyes; I became the universe in the oddest of ways. If I were a mathematician I would have suggested that my transition, or expansion if you will, into a universal being was a direct result of addition. The experience began with the sensation of a tiny piece of thread vibrating in darkness, the thread became an atom, which in turn became a cell. The cell formed into a being which I knew was me. I then morphed into a planet and soon thereafter felt the Sun breathe life into me just as I transitioned into a galaxy. The experience was much like erasing borders, every time I felt I was separate from something else, I became that something I thought I was not. I kept adding my experiential reality to my beingness until I not only became the universe, but I was truly all which existed. Like a thunderclap in the night, I suddenly knew myself as consciousness. The appearance of the physical world was exposed as an exciting enigma, it existed, yet it was illusory, it was separate, yet it was a singularity. The world I always entertained as an external extension of my "self" was in truth a construct which originates from within.

                                                                    I AM THAT I AM

Embracing the reality of the GodSelf is a life changing experience. Knowing myself to be the totality of all manifest reality is impossible to fully comprehend, so much so, that even after knowing the truth, I can barely benefit from the understanding. Try as I might to forge a different personal path, I invariably stumble as I discover it almost impossible to assimilate the many ramifications this beautifully enlightened state of awareness offers. Time, space, material separation, physicality, are all ego magicians capable of hiding my true identity behind a curtain of deceit. I am an eternal being, as are you, together we appear as separate entities intertwined in a battle for survival, however, I assure you this is illusion. We are so much more, we are all which exists, past present and future. The depth of my insanity keeps me hobbled in the stable, I struggle to use this new knowledge as a tool to combat the decades of deceitful mind programming promulgated by EgoSelf and the extended mind warped society I inhabit. Fail as I might in the present, I can always reach back in my memories to relive the time when I embraced the universe in a state of absolute, eternal, singularity. To you, my dearest reader, I can only convey my experience in hopes that you may somehow see beyond chains of your EgoSelf. Your true identity lies beyond the obfuscation of the false paradigm in which you exist. The good news is, you can identify with this GodSelf alter ego, you can spiritually connect to the singularity, it is who you are.

Leaving my galactic brethren and the lessons learned therein, I found myself shuffling along into what I later discovered was to be the penultimate stop on my journey into Antonio's mind. Finding myself inhabiting the mind and body of Adolph Hitler, was, to say the least a complete shock. Out of respect for Adolph, I won't regale you with details of sordid and grim despair. He was a man driven by fear, not a common fear by any standards. I tell you, I lived his entire life; severe trauma both physical and mental contributed to his darkness, but the real pain arose from his utter inability to see light. Psychopaths must endure the toughest of existences, they are severed from the light, from love. There can be no greater burden to bear than an inability to experience love. Having known Adolph as I do, I now understand the power of love.

Antonio seemed to have given me the ability to dance back and forth in time and inhabit the consciousness of whichever human spirit I desired. For whatever reason, I found the expression of time to be one of the hardest illusions to see beyond, which is why I highly valued the "time travel" experience. I guess, after inhabiting the consciousness of countless universes, planets, creatures, and beings of all sorts, one might think a trip into the individual minds of historical figures, by comparison, would be somewhat unremarkable. I tell you this was not the case! More than any of the other destinations in the mind of Antonio, I am convinced the opportunity to exist within the history of humanity proved a transformational key responsible for unlocking my ability to further develop my GodSelf psyche. Torn asunder; were prevailing feelings supporting the grand illusions of time, separation and physicality. Aside from breaking through the base illusions of our, apparently physical world, I was able to experience, a first hand account, of who controls our reality and how they manage to keep us enslaved in this state of Egoic fear.

Teasing apart the many layers of how they manipulate the onion, we know as human society, instilled in me a sense of peace, tranquillity and understanding. In short, the EgoSelf no longer held sway over my psyche, I became the I AM, that which can see, and know, the lesser self as the ultimate trickster.

Appealing and entertaining as it might be to my readers, I won't regale you with detailed specifics of my visits into the individual psychopathy responsible for steering humanity toward the guttural expression we see manifest today. Let me also suggest that if I did probe into specifics, you would be surprised to learn that, to a man, the historical characters we all thought responsible for changing our world, were, in fact, always puppets dancing to strings pulled at their master's behest. By example; Hitler danced to the flute of the Rothschild banking machine, yet our schools and history books make no such connection. The powerful manage and fabricate history to act as a chute ensnaring, then funnelling, the masses toward their hidden matrix of domination. Historical inaccuracy has metastasised into an elite hammer which separates, enslaves and alienates the peoples of the world. Beyond their primary functionality we discover the building blocks of society like; history, war, religion, media, consumerism, education, and government, have become all but a few of the many instruments found in the master's tool box enabling the human vibration to be forged into a black block of fear. The reasoning for the subterfuge is simple; the elite covet the type of control, power and wealth which translates into world domination. True history has taught the elite that domination can only be maintained when subjugated masses are covertly enslaved by a steady diet of distraction and fear. Introduce love into society; all of a sudden, it becomes unacceptable that our brethren starve, suffer enslavement, or perish at the whim of wealthy psychopaths. Few see beyond the basic building blocks of mind control, even fewer are prepared to admit they have been duped into accepting a constructed reality which entertains hideous concepts like, "might makes right", or, "survival of the fittest". We don't need to know the colour of the elephant rampaging through our home, we just need to accept that it exists, then somehow formulate a plan for insisting it leave. Humanity has been contrived in a most insane fashion, the mechanics of elite wizardry have been so cleverly applied that it is neigh on impossible for me to anticipate you capable of filtering through the knowledge Antonio has afforded us. How can the average person embrace or even logically entertain concepts like the GodSelf, or elite global domination.

Antonio took me into the hearts and minds of the very individuals who were and are responsible for painting the social landscape of consciousness, this experience proved, beyond any doubt, humanity is dominated by a cabal of elite conspirators. When banking schemes were contrived to strip the average family of wealth, I experienced the voracious greed felt in the hearts of elitist mechanics. I heard the boardroom laughter as corporate vassals used false flags, like 911, to forge public support of warfare. I was the fly on the wall as countless late night schemes were hatched by elite moguls to use a soft kill agenda for depopulating the globe, control media through deterioration of the family,
mind control and subliminal messaging. When protocols were established with an aim for elementary, high and university schools to dumb down the populous, I was there.

You may remember the woman's liberation movement; what you weren't told is that it's focus was to break up the family core, increasing tax revenue, and enslave the female race in corporate bondage. How the elite laughed when they realised how much their plans to "liberate" women enhanced their coffers, degraded society and expanded their control. Imagine how you would feel if you were party to meetings where government rulers were dictated, cajoled or pressed into action by corporate miscreants spewing forth conspiratorial agendas. These aforementioned examples represent just a few of the many references I could site, all clearly establishing the physical, mental and emotional domination of the human experience. What I find most incredulous is that you don't need to believe in what I say happened, you just need to open your eyes, investigate your reality so that you can rationally piece together the puzzle for yourselves.

Antonio, in enabling me to uncover the darkness inherent in the expression of modern society, caused a rift in my sensibilities. How is it the elite could be allowed to manifest such chaos? What about our true essence being love? When a child looks into your eyes and asks why; the answer can be difficult to purchase.

If, as Antonio has taught me, we are God and as such our true essence is love, then why is there so much pain and suffering in the world? This one simple question has plagued the minds of millions of people, is there a reasonable answer?

When I asked Antonio to define the apparent juxtaposition between who we are and what we have created he suggested the following.

Antonio: "Although it is fair to say there are many attributing components to the expression of maya in our world, there is only one source. Evil, if you wish to call it that Karen, is the sole domain of the EgoSelf, the aspect of consciousness which does not know it's true identity."

Karen: "Where did this EgoSelf come from and will it hold sway over humanity forever, or can we somehow rid ourselves of it's dominion?"

Antonio: "If you wish to peer into the realm of the EgoSelf, you may find benefit in considering it akin to a veil. Imagine you are outside on a bright sunny day Karen, a dark cloth is draped over your head, this physical impediment keeps you from seeing the full scope of your world, however, you can still navigate, go about your daily activities and enjoy good health." "Your ability to identify your GodSelf being as eternal light is hampered by this semi transparent veil, however, like all impediments, it can be altered, understood, modified and at times removed."

"Having a concept of the veil is worthwhile, however, as it is an unseen part of your reality, it is impossible to decipher and even harder to come to terms with it's essential usefulness in the greater scheme of consciousness."

"You can come to understand the EgoSelf more completely Karen, many personalities in your history have identified it's existence, the most common names for it are Archon and Ego. "We have just enough time for me show you it's physical appearance, define it's characteristics, limitations and most importantly it's purpose." Would you like to look closer at our dark master Karen?

Karen: Fearful as I am at how powerful this EgoSelf must be, I feel compelled to learn more. Where do we begin?

Antonio: "If we look at the EgoSelf from your personal history Karen there are three events in your life which will shed the most light on this topic, your birth, this experience with me and your death. Let's take one more trip together my sister."    

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Earth Girls are Easy... The dark side of humanity Part 4

How would you feel, if Antonio promised to unveil for you the mysterious, dark, underbelly of consciousness, would you be afraid?

I was!

In my estimation, fear seems a normal reaction, after all, imagination begs us consider the realm of influence to which we would ascribe the title, Master of Darkness. What form of Ogre, or Devil incarnate, must be powerful enough to successfully derail, what one would expect should be, the GodSelf ability to express a life of Eden?

Time and again, Antonio's revelations had unequivocally proved my true identity to be the totality of all manifest reality. I don't mean to appear ungrateful, however, the bla bla bla how big "I AM" can get long in the tooth when circumstance bears such a striking physical contrast to the obvious truth. Knowing myself to be eternal LOVE, GOD, or LIGHT if a less theatrical title were selected, is truly a wonderful realisation. However warm and fuzzy this observation makes me feel, I would be remiss if I failed to redress the most oft refrain I hear.

Why am I, or any of us for that matter, living in this stinking mess?

You don't have to be a deep thinker to trespass upon the obvious disconnect between the vision of love, juxtaposed, to the fear primed reality we experience daily. We suggest our true identity is love; is it not then reasonable to inquire, how in the hell did we end up here in this continual state of fear?

Given the choice between bliss and suffering; is it not fair to assume the vast majority would choose bliss?

How then do we explain this catastrophe?

Hey, it's not like we got things a little bit wrong!

We can't say we nearly hit the mark!

Things are seriously messed up here on Earth. This state of existence is so far removed from an expression of love that it is much more accurate to suggest, with a little more focus, sweat and tears, we could have created the perfect antithesis of love!

Similar lines of thought, only serve to enforce my belief that any evil manifestation powerful enough to circumvent my desires as a magnificent GodSelf being must be something to behold. To this end; I expected my final journey with Antonio to embody darkness, snakes, slitherings of all sorts, pain and tragedy. I assumed a unique flavour of horridness awaited, something grotesquely feeding in the darkest recesses of my psyche. Maybe everything in our reality is love and we "consciousness" represent the evil villain? I jest of course; but only because I have experienced my true identity.

Thanks to Antonio, I knew whatever would approach in the moments ahead would be an aspect of the GodSelf. Truly, nothing exists which is NOT the GodSelf. Antonio would never hurt me, I am Antonio.

My eyes helplessly closed just as his fingers neared my temple.

Departing once again into Antonio's world caused me to realise how I had come to love the moment his fingers touch my forehead. The very instant contact occurs; a new version of reality bathes my consciousness in a tub full of warm singularity goo. Whether investigating historical events, assuming the spirit of another being, peeking into timelessness, or touching the essence of my own totality, there was always an element of oneness. Surprisingly, this occasion proved no different.

I found myself in a hospital room; the equipment seemed dated, possibly as far back as the mid 80's. On the bed was a young woman, on second glance, she looked a lot like me. Whoa, hold on, the woman on the bed was my mother! My mind began spinning, I remember thinking, this can't be true. Faint, but discernible, my dad's voice echoed in the background. His voice had a distinctively younger tenor than I could ever remember, oh my God, I realised I was witnessing my own birth from a third person perspective.

No sooner had the realisation hit me, I found my focus had turned directly to my infant self. Without warning, I discovered myself enveloped in the conscious mind of my prenatal self approaching the moment of birth. Touching my prenatal mind proved to be eerily similar to the experience I had when Antonio first showed me I was God. You may suspect the womb to be dark place, yet I experienced, for lack of a better description, an impression of light. Similar to the experience you get when you close your eyes and look up to the sun, there is colour there, right? If asked to describe the experience, I would say the womb is a warm loving and remarkably bright existence.

What a mind trip! Holy cow; Antonio never ceases to amaze, but this trip is a real lulu!

Shortly after assuming the consciousness of my pre - birth self, I found my perspective of "self" reeling back in time. Like a movie projector stuck on rewind, my sense of consciousness was cast backward one frame at a time closing in on my personal big bang. The most compelling aspect of this incredible journey was the realisation that my destination, moreover, my entire identity, was the GodSelf singularity. To be perfectly succinct; the process of developing the physical body initiates the death of the metaphysical body. In time, the pantomime will reverse as the physical, once again, yields to the metaphysical.

The conscious, prenatal, body on it's journey into physical "being" passes many bright neon road signs informing the pre natal infant physicality and separation lies ahead. The first sign, indicating the trip to the material has commenced in earnest, is the loving energetic bond the three life forces have with each other. Soon after inception; a strong physical connection between mother and child is forged. The prenatal child learns to relate to a "second" being, thereby developing within the psyche concepts of physicality and separation. This realisation of a separate "self" is the first real shock wave landed upon to the GodSelf being. Part and parcel with this realisation, is a diminishing sense of oneness as ultimate truth. Mere cracks in the GodSelf dam, yet worth noting. Each minute closer to birth represents a minute farther removed from the divinity of self.

Late first and early second trimester the prenatal me began to sense sounds from the "Outer World". This is the stage where "self" defined as two separate beings evolves into an acceptance that "self" be represented by an ever expanding stream of "others". Speeding away from heaven, divinity shrinking in the mirror, the third trimester was much like much like riding on the edge of an avalanche. Development of the physical and neurological network supporting the illusion of reality came at me like a video game designer hooked on Ritalin. Sensations of all kinds pummelled and moulded my psyche into a state of total submission.

Yes there is a world! Yes it is physical! Yes, I am that, I am!      

Moments before my birth; I felt as if I were walking a razor's edge between my GodSelf identity and the illusionary identity I was about to assume. I related to my "self" as a singularity, the totality of all this "apparent" separation, yet this connection with Oneness was being bombarded, severed, eternally replaced by a veil of illusion.

To be clear with you dear reader, I feel I should expand a little on what it means when I say "I knew myself as a singularity". When I use a word like "know" I must anticipate you will attach reason; by example, I would use reason to illustrate to you that I am a woman and not a man. There are however, two very different types of "knowledge"; experiential and innate. Experiential knowledge is derived from the collective rewards of experience and reason, whilst innate knowledge is a deep seated knowing which defines itself in the absence of physical reality. Another attribute of innate knowledge is that it represents a state of "being", whereas, experiential knowledge is derives from a state of "doing". It is important you comprehend my prenatal self existed in a state of "being", accordingly, my sense of knowledge at time of birth was almost entirely innate in nature.

Little do I understand of such complex metaphysical amusements, however, I would venture to say that one can only truly "know" one "self" by entering into a state of "being" for it is the very nature of the illusion of physicality/separation which tricks us into believing my "self" is somehow separate from your "self".

Let us take a moment to consider the awesomeness of child birth. You, a magnificent GodSelf being, acting in the guise of "consciousness", have created an awesome dream. This dream is akin to a fabulous amusement park; beyond all conceivable contrivance you have become your world. Jumping on the dream train is simple as handing the conductor the tattered stub, a ticket to ignorance, if you will. One pass per person Neo; take the blue pill, immerse yourself in a world of illusion and maya.

Having accepted this pseudo reality as a playground, you jump head first into the woods, wolves barking at your heels. Fare paid in full; the ride commences with you becoming a unique spark of divine consciousness. How do you think we should usher in such splendour? One would assume a description of birthing events would include adjectives like; reverence, love, caring, honour. Failing a spectacular beginning to the ride; we anticipate all participants would, at the very least, avoid subjecting the newborn child and mother to brutality, horror and mayhem.  

Describing my trek into our precious five sense material world, I would have to say the experience involved a brutish giant unceremoniously dragging me into a nightmare. There is no point mincing words; the physical trip from blissful GodSelf peace of mother's womb to a cold operating room table, is a hard ride!

However insensitive, antiseptic and brutal the introduction to the illusion of separation was on the physical plane, there was also a metaphysical release of the spirit body which was equally taxing. Things got real squirrelly when mother's water broke, but the real transition from a state of perfect singularity to the illusion of physical separation began in earnest when the doctors hands and instruments first touched my body. From that point forward, everything went to hell in a hand basket. The smack on my ass, merely served to punctuate the hienous trip with bitter tasting irony.

There is no honey to be found here child, a nasty world awaits!

We will slice this little cord, tear you from mother then unceremoniously begin our examination. My peaceful world had somehow, without warning, become apocalyptic. Seemingly, an eternity passed before the familiar beat of mother's heart gave brief, but very welcome, pause to the onslaught of clinical insanity. This was my beginning, what about yours, your grandchildren those expectant mothers? Do you think we, the collective intelligence of twenty first century science and medical technology, could somehow manage a few improvements.

As the experience unfolded, the smack in the ass proved multi purpose. Apropos was its greeting to this crazy ride, as well, it also served to knock me out of my prenatal consciousness. Moreover, the smack in the butt caused me to escape the first person experience, whereby, I presently found myself an observer to the event. Realising I was now floating as a bodiless observer directly above my infant self, I established a fresh accounting of my surroundings. Looking around the room, I noted my mother, father, for that matter, all living beings, were similarly constructed of light. Each vestige of life appeared to cast a separate and distinctive outline of light. Similarities of appearance were noticeable; by example, light seemed to bulge out around the heart. Tentacle like appendages of light sprung forth from the torso, head, and limbs. Further observance indicated inanimate objects in the room, even the room itself, shimmered and glowed. Hard edges normally found on physical objects had disappeared. Everything seemed to gel into everything else; I found it near impossible to define one object as being separate or distinct from another.

Surely you are having a hard time imagining my description!

Let me steer you toward the movie "The Matrix", remember the scene where Neo was blinded. This world as portrayed in the movie was very close to the hospital experience. The only exception I would make is that you observe living entities as being significantly brighter than inanimate objects. Further to this enigma, one would note humans shone more gloriously than other animals, who, in turn, glowed with a more subdued light pallet than did the grass, trees, or plants. The impression left by this experience clearly illustrated a correlation between consciousness and light. What I found shocking was the brightness with which my newborn self shone.

There I was, lying on a cotton terry cloth bath towel, little feet and hands reaching out to nowhere and everywhere all at the same time. Wow did I shine! the brightness was so intense I had to avert my eyes. The glory of the moment was captivating, magnificent, blissful beyond description. Looking around the room, my mother and father were both radiant, excitement and joy permeated throughout adding animation to the celebration. Never have I seen my mother so beautiful, nor my father so proud.

Looking down on this most joyous scene left me breathless. Suddenly, amidst this merriest of events, a pique of intuition bespoke disaster. Moments after processing this most disturbing sense of intuit, a distinctive cool breeze traced across my back, making camp at the nape of my neck. Like an elastic band viscously recoiling to it's point of origin, my mind zeroed in on the stated purpose of this journey.

Antonio had promised to illuminate darkness!

Dazzled and transfixed by the splendour of my pre natal trek, I had completely forgotten the objective of this exercise. Fear raced at me like a freight train running wild down an alpine pass. My mind fretted to puzzle out a logical conclusion to this ominous revelation. Befuddled by the exercise of ferreting reason from insanity, I nearly missed the villain's grand entrance. Luckily, it had teased enough attention from the corner of my eye to enable me warning that the GodSelf, my GodSelf, was about to be horrifically violated.

Neon signs, banners and buglers were not needed to assure me the Master of Darkness had arrived. The beast approached, slowly edging toward the examination table upon which my infant self squirmed and cooed. Seeing the drama unfold below, I was taken aback to note the Master of Darkness, at least in it's dealings with me, chose to inauspiciously appear as a shadow. Relief was felt by the absence of great beasts, slithering creatures or countless other fears I had previously envisioned would materialize at this auspicious moment. Aside from the phenomenal dark energy this beast commanded; its appearance proved no more odious, nor troublesome, than the shadow cast by a big old Oak late on a sunny afternoon.

Benign as the evil appeared, my apprehension escalated significantly as I observed the shadow slowly close the distance to the glowing baby below. Relegated to the role of observer, I helplessly stared with bated breath as slowly this beastly shadow engulfed the tiny body, my tiny body. Without fanfare, in fact, apparently unnoticed by anyone but myself, the shadow consumed the glowing infant. To say my infant body was consumed may represent a confusing image to many readers, yet, I can settle upon no better qualified adjective with which to hang this portrait. Content, you can be to know, in my heart of hearts, I was assured this shadow's ominous presence had forever changed how I would define my "self" as separate from the reality I inhabit. Quietly, without resistance or concern, the Master of Darkness had consumed my GodSelf identity. Illusion instantly replaced truth; where my world was singular, division now ruled. Metaphysical consciousness, having bathed me in tub of GodSelf love for nine months, now relinquished it's hold on my consciousness. Yielding to the Master of Darkness, my sense of consciousness would forevermore reflect a tapestry of physicality. This, most natural transition, enabled the birth of my EgoSelf, as well, the awakening of fear.

The moment of realisation still stings my memory evoking tears of sorrow as penning these words force me to recollect my infant GodSelf spirit being consumed. For lack of a better description; I would have to say the event catapulted me into a state of shock. I can recall observing my helpless infant self, wishing beyond all reason, that the cloud of darkness would somehow disappear to reveal anew the awesome, glorious, glow of my GodSelf body. Surely, I thought, the GodSelf consciousness must shake itself free from the clutch of Darkness. Alas, I knew the shadow would never leave. Moreover; I now know the shadow, covering my infant self, was the platform upon which the Master of Darkness peddles his great showcase of illusion.

Antonio is a genius; this epic journey was exactly what I had needed. His aim was to disclose the root of evil. Tasked with such a challenge, where else should Antonio begin other than the origin of evil, nay, it's very birth. Never, in a million years, had I thought to perceive evil in the light of something which could be born, yet, plain as the nose on my face, I had just witnessed the birth of evil. Antonio, in allowing me to experience the scope of my own prenatal consciousness, illustrated what my reality looked like in the absence of illusion. The purity and singularity of "self" as a prenatal blob, the path toward separation, culminating with the birth of my EgoSelf the very moment my GodSelf identity was consumed. Wow, what a bizarre, mind twisting, plunge into the rabbit hole!

The message I took from this freaky ride left me utterly convinced the root of all evil is not represented by a great beast. Contrary to the extravagance of my collective fears; there appears to be no hideous villains, smelly aliens, snakes, nor reptilian perpetrators of chaos. The seed of Evil, it would appear, sprouts forth and bears fruit from fertile loams of illusion. Our lexicons define the word illusion as representing that which does not have a legitimate home within societies concept of reality. Bombastic, proud and careless, we paint the borders of our reality with the assurance of a steady hand. Thinking our philosophy beyond reproach, we fail to heed the near invisible, complex web of illusion constructed by Evil. The Master of Darkness has hidden within the collective psyche of humanity. Effectively, The Master of Darkness is the EgoSelf, a trickster who convinces us it does not exist. This beast I like to call the monkey mind which preys upon your attempt at a peaceful existence. You know the critter well, it talks to you every hour of every day it spreads fear, uncertainty, disease.

Can you imagine a more covert hiding place than within the mind of your adversary?