Sunday, December 19, 2010
It was a wonderful December day when we searched for our Christmas tree this year. Off and on, the rain would quietly moisten the forest floor. A slight breeze carried fresh scents to enchant the moment. Leaving my wife on dry ground, I ventured alone into an old bog. I slowly weaved my way across the mire, managing barely to keep dry. I spied an old fallen tree which I thought might offer slippery but safe passage over an especially wet section. Picking my way across the moss laden log demanded full attention. Balance, a modicum of grace and focus were also required. Underfoot, the log bobbed in the water, obeying the command of my advancing weight. Performing it's dance, the log steadfastly remained unpredictable, until finally I reached dry ground. Successfully navigating the other side a beautiful tree called my attention. We managed to get it home and trimmed for all to adore.
I later reflected on this experience. I was considering how crossing the mire represented a beautiful metaphor for challenges I face daily in life.
There lies before us all a path to unconditional love. We could choose carefully each step we take, in doing so we stay dry, warm and comfortable. Or we could carelessly traipse along, making ourselves wet, cold and miserable. For the most part, it is easy to stay dry if care and attention is expressed. However, we know there will be difficult stretches where we must work a little harder and be more attentive if we are to navigate safely.
So what lessons do I learn from such an experience?
Each step I take requires my undivided attention. Along my path I can expect difficult times. When I see the path ahead is more challenging I must slow down, find my balance, then carefully proceed with grace. I don't know how things will change in my live but I must accept, adjust and quickly regain composure.
The path to unconditional love often feels like a balancing act. The ego, continually crying for attention, is much like the shaky log underfoot. I never know what my ego is going to throw at me but each time I must accept, adjust and regain my GodSelf essence.
I find the path to be an extremely demanding experience. Each and every day I spend great amounts of time observing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I may go a few hours without reflection, but I almost always manage to later get caught up. Without this constant vigil I would be hopelessly lost. I say this because I know how relentless and tricky my ego is.
Judgment has been one of the things I have been focusing on of late.
I find in my heart so many ways I judge myself, others, events and outcomes. These constant echoes of ego mind only further ground my resolve to be the GodSelf I am. I am convinced expressions of ego can only be controlled with determined effort. If I fail to pay close attention, ego will be there to knock me off the log.
The way I see it, my waking perception of reality can be broken down into three separate and distinct blocks of time.
Unconscious time: I must admit this represents for me the greatest block of time. This is the time each day I spend on auto-pilot. Most all of my daily routines fall into this category. Playing games, working, eating, driving, etc.. As I investigate this part of my day I determine it often reflects the fear, insecurity and illusion found in my ego mind.
I have found great value in observing how my monkey mind seizes control during the unconscious time.
Conscious time: Conscious time represents in my life a significantly smaller block than unconscious time. This is the time each day I spend expressing my GodSelf. It is only by demanding consistent reflection and expression my GodSelf that I can remain committed to a path of unconditional love.
Observers time: I spend a large part of each day observing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. The observer is a most essential part of my being if am to remain true to my heart. Times of observation allow me to comprehend the lessons my ego is teaching. Moreover, the observer acts as a rudder, allowing me to steer a course beyond the rough waters of ego to the calm serenity of unconditional love.
With this matrix of time exposed, one would naturally assume that my goal is to eradicate the unconscious time in favour of conscious time. Furthermore, one would suspect that the observer in me is the conduit to said objective. To a certain extent such an analysis is accurate. However, beyond this objective lies the lesson of judgment. If we pursue an objective for it's own sake, we often fail to appreciate and value the many small steps which have made the journey possible.
Imagine climbing mount Everest. The first thing that pops into your mind is probably the feeling of taking those final few steps to the summit. Your mind naturally gravitates to the objective of the goal. One fails to imagine or appreciate the inherent value of the thousands of other steps which made this endeavor a reality.
Yes I desire to express only unconditional love. I desire to reflect only my GodSelf being. The irony is that I can never reach this summit unless I am prepared to release desire completely. I can see how my ego chooses to subjugate my search by redefining it in terms of goals and desires. By extension, my search for unconditional love becomes circumvented by judgment. I see my Godself expression is pale in contrast to my egoself, so I may judge myself incomplete. Judgment of self is the quickest path to dis empowerment. There can be no goal or desired outcome. I am God, is the only truth which exists. All else is illusion fabricated by my ego.
How do I remain alert to these subtle dance steps of my ego? The answer is acceptance, non judgmental balance and unconditional love.
I must always remember that the expression of each moment is divine. There is never a time when I am not perfect. I can see my life as a series of choices which create my reality, but this is illusion. There are truly no choices made. How can I choose when I am ONE being, ONE reality, ONE consciousness, eternally expressing the divine GodSlef.
THERE IS NO MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB! I AM THE MOUNTAIN AND THE CLIMBER!
I find in front of me a journey of soul. The path of my soul is predetermined. Beyond the illusion of time and space my soul continues it's eternal expression. I can accept all aspects of my reflection without judgment. I can accept all other reflections as my own, for I am this totality. In this state of non judgment, I may find balance and serenity. With attentiveness to unity, I can discover a way to love myself unconditionally. Where my soul takes me is not important, knowing that I am you is. With this understanding I know that I can only become complete in my GodSelf when you join me in embracing the truth of unity. Judgment day should be therefore considered by society as a misnomer. Judgment day will not represent a day of judgment, rather a day when all judgment has been released.
In Lak' esh, my brethren, I cannot judge for I am another you...