Begin at the beginning of course, where else!
But if I start at the beginning, then, I will have to start in a place that is not real to my readers, it is somewhere they never experienced. If I do that, then I am afraid they will think me crazy!
You are crazy....... Try starting with a fairytale.
Imagine you are Alice, the rabbit, Mr. Nivens McTwisp, is begging your attention. Did you see him skip down that hole? He want's you to follow him...... and so you do. Down you go, tumbling into a world of make believe, without warning, you find yourself luxuriating on a cloud of feathers. Nothing here seems real, everywhere you turn a fantasy land expands at the whim of your imagination. Immediately, you discover your mind has become inexorably affixed to your present reality. Each and every fanciful image, or event, which trespass across your thoughts, magically come to life in the blink of an eye. You have become a reality constructing artist. Easel pitched for performance, you propel life onto a blank canvass with the speed and alacrity of a Saharan Genie stoned on cocaine. Awesome is this wealth of power, you prance across ever changing landscapes, skipping through time and space like a blissed out river otter on a sunny day. Revelling in your new found prowess, you contrive one exciting moment after another.
The other side catches you off guard, the fear arose from nowhere and everywhere all at once. One moment, you experience great joy as you close in on the precipice of a massive roller coaster drop. The very next moment, a tinge of angst begins to build in the back of your consciousness. Creeping silently, that first what if thought presents itself. You know these coasters are safe, they hardly ever crash, right? Rationality soon flies out the window as you teeter, for the briefest of moments, on the edge of disaster. Your heart races; anticipation builds, then all hell breaks loose. Instantly, your world goes pitch black. Much to your chagrin, you discover the amusement park has been replaced by an underground cavern of sorts. The smell of wet concrete fills your nostrils. Cool, heavy, damp air carpets the locale in a eerie silence. Darkness pumps fear into your pounding heart. Your knees and hands shake uncontrollably as you fumble for your trusty Zippo lighter. The purchase of silence you unwittingly enjoyed is interrupted by a steady sound of the Zippo wheel futilely skidding across the flint underfoot. Again and again, the trusty lighter fails to reward your most earnest of demands. Fatigued by effort, you pause.
Just as you are about to renew your challenge, the eerie silence is broken by another most unsettling of sounds. Unmistakable is this trumpet which brokers your attention. Your qualified ears know its source, however, you belligerently refuse to come to terms. Your heart pounds fast as a humming bird, you remain perfectly still, frozen like an ice statue, you simply cannot move. The sound amplifies, it grows frightfully near, there are more than one, there are many, they are slithering!
Frantically, you grind your thumb into the wheel. Again and again, you feverishly beg it to catch. Finally, the flint dries enough to spark. One tiny flash of light, then another, hope rises until, miraculously, the lighter sputters to life. Instantly, you lower the lighter thereby illuminating your greatest fear. Snakes, hundreds, possibly thousands, of them litter the ground. Some coiled into slimy balls, others wandering about looking for their next victim, a couple of the vipers with arched backs are preparing to strike. You find yourself with back against the wall.
Illuminating your surroundings, you discover what you once believed to be a cavern, now appears in the dull yellow Zippo light as a large sewer tunnel. The semi circular walls, grey, cold, and wet, frame the floor which appears evenly mottled with puddles amply strewn throughout. There seems no point of escape. The walls, smooth and unsightly, offer no doorway, nor does there appear to be stairs, pipes, or ladders which might provide a timely release from this most nasty of predicaments. Reaching for normalcy, you try to escape the charade, but, like gum stuck on the bottom of your runners on a hot summer day, you find separation will not come easy, if at all. The snakes approach, once subtle sounds of their presence has now amplified into a frenzied din. Suddenly, you experience absolute silence. Your perception of reality transcends into a slow motion portrayal of, you, acting out your final moments of life. Warm urine streams carelessly down your leg, following the road of least resistance, destination, left Nike sneaker, size eight. You close your eyes. Bracing for that first hypodermic impact, all hope is lost.
Released from the visual drama of the moment, you suddenly realise, this is your world, you are the creator. Sunshine instantly warms your face, you squint adjusting to the blinding rays. Focusing in on your newest playground; you spy a vista of beautiful rolling hills accented by an oceanic backdrop belching out the welcoming sounds of surf. Flowers, and the scent of freshly mowed hay, fills the air. Tiny, yellow breasted, songbirds chirp in the nearby alder tree, as a tiny bumble bee bumps against the tip of your nose. Great puffy clouds float overhead framing, what many would consider, an Edenic world. Sweat dripping off your brow, heart rate finally dropping below two hundred, you lay back to savour the morning scene.
Wow, what a freaky trip was that! Everything was upside down, dreams and nightmares were created in the blink of an eye. Having now travelled through this Wonderland Alice, how will you describe what you have just experienced?
Alas, you discover the problem which confronts me now. Where to begin?
This is the challenge before me dear reader, what words could I possibly draw upon to convince you the Wonderland I experienced is a real place?
Wouldn't you think me crazy?
This Wonderland of mind twisting make believe is exactly where I found myself immediately after Antonio had touched his hands to my temple. I was not able to create my own reality as described in the aforementioned fairy tale. Regretfully, I never encountered a neurotically quirky rabbit who invited me for lunch, nor did I find a talking Cat with a broad beautiful smile. However, I did discover a uniquely crafted world. As well, this new reality was far, far, different than the one you and I are used to living in now. More importantly; I am here to tell you, the world Antonio showed me is the only real world. If you believe my story to be true, you will have to confront the fact our world, this three dimensional playground we call Earth, is better described as a dream. We serve ourselves best when we accept what science has been telling us for years; this universe and all manifest reality, is no more physical than a mathematically constructed hologram. Like Einstein said, "Reality is an illusion...". Heck, if you think Wonderland was a weird mind trip for Alice, you will soon discover the places Antonio took me were nothing short of a total mind melt. Amazing as my journey into Antonio's mind was, I still have to find some way to describe it, so here goes.
The very first place Antonio took me to was a "non place"!
There you go, I said it.
Spend a few moments to envision what "Non Place" means to you. How do those two words make you feel?
Having discussed this topic with many people, from all walks of life, experience has taught me the topic of "Non Place" is a good deal similar to a fart in an elevator, people just don't know how to react. Children seem to find the concept of non place easier to grasp than adults. I have noticed the descriptive comments used by children often ring true with how I experienced non locality. Oddly, the segment of society which seem to have the most difficulty imagining non locality are the scientists. For the most part, scientists tend to ramble on with their physics and maths, asking me technical questions I have no prayer of answering. When my descriptions fail to meet their model of the universe, they often become rude, dismissive, or worse.
For you, my favoured reader, if pressed to offer a little help, let me suggest you don't try to imagine, or picture, non locality as a place in your mind. Instead, try to "be" non locality. If this answer is too cryptic, may I suggest you start with what love feels like, then stick love in a vacuum. I know I am not helping you much. Truly, I am sorry my vocabulary fails me in my bid to open this door. Children seem to have many more roads they can turn their imagination down, I think we lose a good deal of that skill as we mature into adults. For some reason, if I ask a child to imagine the unimaginable, I can't say where their mind will go, but, I am sure they will try. Whenever I ask an adult the same question, all I usually get in return are questions, demands for further qualification, and resistance. Knowing nothingness, is a key to knowing who you are. With this in mind, I find it incumbent upon me to try a little harder to express, if even vaguely, the dimensions of this non reality.
The best way I could describe non locality is to say that it is a place of "being" not "doing" or "experiencing". Your first tendency will be to reach for an experiential anchor, be aware no such anchor exists. Here, nothing is experienced, this is the ultimate absence of separation. Few people can relate, in any way, to such a state of awareness. The odd Buddhist monk might have an inkling of what this state is like, however, even the most adept at meditation would have a hard time imagining this non place. Aside from children, and those who habitually meditate, another group of people who seem to be better suited to the task of capturing the feeling of "Non Place" are users of psychedelics. The longer the history with drugs, the better equipped they seem to be, especially valuable is experience with mushrooms, LSD, heroin, ayahuasca and peyote. Generally speaking, when I explain this weird non locale to the average person, the following is a synopsis of their thought process.
What does a "Non Place" look like?
When I say absolute nothingness, they get a weird look in their eyes, most people usually blurt out.
Does that mean everything was pitch black?
My response to them again is; "No, it was abject nothingness." at this point in the conversation they seem to hit a conceptual brick wall. You can see it clearly written on their faces, they are befuddled beyond repair. The most persistent listener, the person who really wants to know, will take that final last step, they will ask that ultimate question.
You probably already know the most likely next question to spew forth from the inexorably perplexed mind. Don't you?
Well, was it all white then?
Alas, I must admit dear reader, my unqualified, but no less assured, answer; "No, it was absolute nothingness", does little to further their investigation. These poor inquisitive souls are destined to never approach the concept of non locality, especially if their final query was based in a compunction to hammer out an identifiable experience. Feeling sorry to have placed them into this enigma, I usually try to help resolve their quandary a little. If so inclined, I might add something akin to the following; "There is no experience, there is only the ultimate singularity. This singularity is expressed as nothingness, this nothingness is "YOU". As you can imagine, my added clarification does little to satisfy their need to fulfill the senses. Senses fulfilled or not, most people will try their best to keep up with the Wonderland fantasy I describe, however, it is not uncommon to hear them utter the following commentary as they make leave.
So, let me get this straight.... you are telling me in this Wonderland non place.... I am nothingness!
Dealing with one person at a time is hard enough, when you broach this topic with big audiences it can easily become a zoo. Experience with countless audiences has taught me; most people think that if a place isn't describable, it's not pitch black, or absolute white, then hell, that place just doesn't exist. The larger the audience, the greater impact those three questions will have. You can see it in their eyes, you can feel the unease in the building, really, it's palpable, everyone shuts down. You can almost hear them mouthing the words.....
She j u s t f a r t e d i n o u r e l e v a t o r!!!
I digress, I don't mean to always defend myself to you the reader, lately, the media bashing has me on the defensive all the time. Try as I might, I am having a hard time remembering, this is not T.V., your objective is not to beat me down. If you have read this far, my guess is, you actually want to wander around in the rabbit hole. Maybe you want to believe it's all real. Most importantly, I think you are prepared to accept that you, and the world live in, might actually be something entirely different than what you believe it is. With that said, I will not dwell further on trying to qualify my story. Forge ahead I will, I promise to do my level best as I describe the events, and even the non events, of what transpired. As they say, we will throw caution to the wind and let the dice fall as they may.
Having stumbled through my opening; the only further description of non locality, or non perception, would be to think of it as an emotion and NOT an event. You can't touch, physically describe, or articulate what a strong emotion would look like. None the less emotions are a most powerful presence in your existence. When you experience emotion, it does not take up space in your closet, but it does impact your life and it is real. Although we cannot, touch, see, or put a hat on our feelings, they remain quantifiable, tangible. Evidence encourages you to justifiably suggest that emotions have a presence, that they do exist.
Experiencing the 'non place', one realises there is no separation. The contrasts created by the appearance of separation all slip away, there is no black, nor white, no up nor down, equally, there is no you nor me, there is only "THE ONE"! While you are in this non space, you don't know why, or how, but somehow, you are convinced 'THE ONE' is you. You know, right in the core of your beingness, that you are the totality of all which exists. Without definition, proof, evidence, or experience, you know the drop of water has finally returned to the ocean. It's a wild ride my brethren, trust me, this is far more bizarre than anything Alice found during her outlandish travels in Wonderland.
(Dear reader, for your own benefit, please do not let this revealing moment idly pass you by. STOP take a few golden minutes to imagine your true identity as the GodSelf. How do you feel this divine identity changes your experience of the world? Knowing the totality of all manifest reality, past, present, and future, is YOU should have an impact, no?)
While in the 'non place', you are enthralled, at a core level, by the awesomeness of the GodSelf. Whilst revelling in the grand expanse of your new found identity, you are also presented with the most obvious fact that your Godly alter identity is nothingness. The golden nugget of the GodSelf acting in the playground of infinite consciousness is dually opposed by the GodSelf expressionless in the realm of quiet perfection. This singular beingness, undiluted, undivided, pure in essence, is overwhelming to one who has only experienced being the drop and not the ocean. However powerful this ultimate presence may seem, we know it as a quiet partner in our daily lives. We touch its sleeve every waking moment, it is what we humans call "LOVE".
Finding myself having to define the GodSelf to others is, as you might imagine, quite a chore. Aside from dealing with the distrust, accusations, verbal assaults, and other similar obstacles, there is the tedium of trying to find vocabulary inroads which will encourage people to open their hearts to the truth of who they are. One benefit of carrying the message of GodSelf has been that sometimes people ask questions which help me better frame the experience. One such question came from a man up in Canada, I think he said he was from the city called Alberta. In any regard, he asked me the following;
"You have said that the moment Antonio touched you, instantly you knew yourself to be God. As you put it, you knew your true identity as all manifest reality, past, present and future. Considering, you said you were in a 'non place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?
At the time, I could not offer the gentleman a reasonable answer. My only recourse was to suggest that it was like a seed had been planted in my heart. Having arrived back home after my Canadian media tour, I thought deeper on his question. For whatever reason, pondering this question drove me directly to a Eureka moment.
"In one's search to define the GodSelf identity, the adept most often asks, who am I? In time, the resilient learner will adjust one's sight on the more important question, who am I not?"
The moment Antonio touched my temples, I discovered who I am not. I am not a something, I have no physical form. This illusion we call reality is a matrix of ones and zeros, a mathematical Rubik cube where everything is perfect, yet nothing is "real". The 'non place', stripped away all the things that I thought were real. Concepts like space, time and the physical nature of our world were proven false. The separateness inherent in the three dimensional illusion we call life was replaced by the knowledge of unity consciousness. Amalgamating separateness into the whole, I discovered that what remained was so powerful it caused me to relentlessly sob in its presence.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
What I learned from my trip to Antonio's Wonderland is that you, me, the whole enchilada we call space / time is really LOVE. It hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks! Wow, you have no idea how mind blowing such a discovery can be. Trust me when I say, you would not be able to do anything other than bawl your eyes out with absolute joy. We are not talking about happiness here, this is a joy like nothing you could ever imagine. Think of how you would feel if you knew in the deepest recesses of your heart that you are GOD! You are the universe! The universe before you was never "out there", illusion aside, the universe is really YOU divided into an infinite amount of characters enabling you to forge a grand play call life. The neighbour who you hate, the lover in your bed, the moon above your head, the sun that cracks open a new day, it's all you.
How would this revelation change your world Alice?
What about, love thy neighbour as you would yourself, makes sense doesn't it Alice?
So this is the real you, the totality of all existence, while at the same time, love in it's purest form.
W O W
You always thought that you started and ended somewhere. You, against the world, struggling to survive. Strip away the illusion of physical reality dear reader, when the barriers have all fallen only love will remain. We all think we know what love is. The society we live in causes us to accept a watered down philosophy of love which is, unfortunately, firmly pinned to act as a function of self gratification. Take everything away, there is no thinking, nor physical form. In an environment bereft of experiential distinction no judgement can exist, good or bad, right or wrong, these things have no soil to root in, all that remains is BLISS.
So dear reader, to underline the answer to my friendly Canadian's query "in a 'non place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?"
You can't know yourself at all, you can only BE yourself. Trust me when I say, the 'non experience' you get when visiting the 'non place' is more than you, or anyone, could handle. More JOY JOY than you could ever imagine was possible, you would find, like I did, there is nothing left but to sob with gratitude. Discover your own magnificence, see if your knees don't buckle and your heart doesn't explode.
Grand as it was, dear reader, the non place was just the beginning, Antonio showed me many more amazing revelations, each as fantastic as the first. Let us take a little ride together, with what Antonio shared with me, you can reveal your true identity as well.