Where to begin?
Begin at the beginning of course, where else!
But if I start at the beginning, then, I will have to start in a place that is not real to my readers, it is somewhere they never experienced. If I do that, then I am afraid they will think me crazy!
You are crazy....... Try starting with a fairy-tale.
Slipping into Antonio's mind, I imagine myself as Alice frolicking in her Wonderland. The rabbit, Mr. Nivens McTwisp, is begging my attention. I see him skip down that hole? He want's me to follow. I answer his urging. Down I go, tumbling into a world of make believe. Without warning, I find myself luxuriating on a cloud of feathers.
Nothing here seems real, everywhere I turn a fantasy land expands at the whim of my imagination. Immediately, I discover my mind has become inexorably affixed to my present reality. Each fanciful image, or event, which trespass across my thoughts, magically come to life in the blink of an eye. I have become a magical, reality constructing artist.
Easel pitched for performance, I propel life onto a blank canvass with the speed and alacrity of a Saharan Genie stoned on cocaine. Awesome is this wealth of power. Prancing across ever changing landscapes, skipping through time and space like a blissed-out river otter on a sunny morning swim. Revelling in my new-found prowess, I contrive one exciting moment after another.
The other side of pleasure catches me off guard. Fear arises from nowhere and everywhere all at once. One moment, I am experiencing great joy by closing in on the precipice of a massive roller coaster drop. The very next moment, a tinge of angst begins to build in the back of my consciousness.
Creeping silently, the first what if thought presents itself. I know these coasters are safe, they hardly ever crash, right? Rationality soon flies out the window as I teeter, for the briefest of moments, on the edge of disaster. Heart racing; anticipation builds, then all hell breaks loose. Instantly, my world goes pitch black. Much to my chagrin, I discover the amusement park has been replaced by an underground cavern of sorts.
The smell of wet concrete fills my nostrils. Cool, heavy, damp air carpets the locale which is trapped in a eerie silence. Darkness pumps fear into my pounding heart. Knees and hands shake uncontrollably as I fumble for a trusty Zippo lighter bulging slightly in my jeans pocket. The purchase of silence, unwittingly enjoyed, is interrupted by a steady sound of the Zippo wheel futilely skidding across the flint underfoot. Again, then again, the trusty lighter fails to reward my most earnest of demands. Fatigued by effort, I pause.
Just as I am about to renew my challenge, the eerie silence is broken by another most unsettling of sounds. Unmistakable is this trumpet which brokers my attention. Qualified ears know its source. However, I belligerently refuse to come to terms with what I know awaits. Heart pounds fast as a humming bird in flight. I remain perfectly still, frozen like a block of ice. Simple as movement should be, I am statuesque, frozen in fear. The sound amplifies, growing frightfully near. There are more than one, there are many, they are slithering!
Frantically, I grind a thumb into the lighter wheel. Over and again, I feverishly beg the wick to catch alight. Finally, the flint dries enough to offer a dim spark. One tiny flash of light, then another. Hope rises until, miraculously, the lighter sputters to life.
Instantly, I lower the lighter thereby illuminating my greatest fear. Snakes, hundreds, possibly thousands, littering the cold sandy ground. Some coiled into slimy balls, others wandering about looking for their next victim. Vipers, with backs arched, are preparing to strike. Back against the wall, shaking uncontrollably, panic takes hold.
Illuminating my surroundings, I discover what once seemed a cavern, now appears in the dull yellow Zippo light as a large sewer tunnel. The semi-circular walls, grey, cold, and wet, frame the floor which appears evenly mottled with puddles amply strewn throughout. There appears no point of escape. The walls, smooth and unsightly, offer no doorway, nor does there appear to be stairs, pipes, or ladders which might provide a timely release from this most nasty of predicaments.
Reaching for normalcy, I desperately try to escape the charade. Like hot gum stuck on the bottom of my sneakers, I find separation from this dream reality will not come easily, if at all. The snakes approach, once subtle sounds of their presence have now amplified into a frenzied din. Suddenly, I experience absolute silence.
My perception of reality transcends into a slow-motion portrayal of, me, acting out my final moments of life. Warm urine streams carelessly down my leg following the road of least resistance, destination, left Nike sneaker, size eight. Closing my eyes, I brace for that first hypodermic impact. The snakes have me trapped, all hope is lost.
Released from the visual drama of the moment, I suddenly realise, this is my dream world. Ultimately, I am the sole creator of this horrific reality.
Sunshine instantly warms my face. Squinting, adjusting to blinding rays of multi-coloured light, my world changes in the blink of an eye. Focusing in on my newest playground, I spy a vista of beautiful rolling hills accented by an oceanic backdrop belching out the welcoming sounds of surf.
Flowers, couple with the scent of freshly mowed hay. Filled with pleasurable aromas, the once heavy air of the sewers appears as a distant memory. Tiny, yellow breasted, songbirds chirp in a nearby alder tree, Tiny bumble bee floats casually in the air, then gently bumps against the tip of my piqued nostril. Great puffy clouds float overhead framing, what many would consider, an Edenic world.
Sweat still dripping off my brow from the tunnel horror show, I feel my heart rate finally drop below two hundred, levelling off at a casual pace. Savouring the morning vista, I lay with back nestled against the crook of an old White Pine.
Wow, what a freaky trip was that!
Everything, created at my whim, was upside down to the way we experience reality. Dreams, as well nightmares, were created in the blink of an eye. Having now travelled through this Wonderland of divine creation, how will I describe to you what has just transpired?
Alas, you discover the problem which I now confront.
Where to begin?
This, the challenge before me dear reader, causes me to wonder what words could I possibly draw upon to convince you the Wonderland I experienced was a real place? Suggesting I could in a heartbeat invoke any reality I desired, must by logical reasoning, make me crazy as a Loon.
There is no win here, I tell you my story, then you label me insane?
This Wonderland of mind twisting was exactly where I found myself immediately after Antonio had touched his hands to my temple.
Regretfully, I never encountered a neurotically quirky rabbit who invited me for lunch, nor did I find a talking Cat with a broad beautiful smile.
However, I did discover a uniquely crafted world. As well, this new reality was far, far, different than the one you and I presently experience.
More important than bearing witness to a magical expanse of limitless self creation is the fact this world of Antonio's represents our true identity, our verified capacity.
If you believe my story to be true, you will have to confront the fact our world, this three-dimensional playground we call Earth, is better described as a dream. We serve ourselves best when we accept what science has been telling us for decades; this universe, along with all manifest reality, is no more physical than a mathematically constructed hologram.
Einstein reminds us, "Reality is an illusion...".
Heck, if you think Wonderland was a weird mind trip for Alice, you will soon discover the places Antonio took me were nothing short of a total mind melt. Amazing as my journey into Antonio's mind was, I still must find some way to describe the experience. Additionally, it is important to realise the countless positive impacts truth can offer humanity.
Hop in, buckle up, things are about to get extremely weird. Jumping into Antonio's mind, the best way to describe the first destination would be to call it a "non-place"!
There you go, I said it, non-place!
Spend a few moments to envision how a place called "Non-Place" might appear. How do those two words, linked in tandem, make you feel?
Having discussed this topic with many people, from all walks of life, experience has taught me the topic of "Non-Place" is a good deal similar to a fart in an elevator, people just don't know how to react. Children seem to find the concept of non-place easier to grasp than adults. I have noticed the descriptive comments used by children often ring true with how I experienced non-locality.
Oddly, the segment of society which seem to have the most difficulty imagining non-locality are the scientists. For the most part, scientists tend to ramble on with their physics and maths, asking me technical questions I have no prayer of answering. When my descriptions fail to meet their model of the universe, they often become rude, dismissive, or worse.
For you, my favoured reader, if pressed to offer a little help, let me suggest you don't try to imagine, or picture, non-locality as a place in your mind. Instead, try to "be" non-locality. If this answer is too cryptic, may I suggest you start with what love feels like, then stick love in a vacuum.
I know I am not helping you much.
Truly, I am sorry my vocabulary fails me in this bid to open the door. Children seem to have many more roads they can turn their imagination down. Maturing into adults, I think we lose a good deal of imaginative skills. For some reason, if I ask a child to imagine the unimaginable, I can't say where their mind will go, but, I am sure they will try.
Conversely, whenever I ask an adult the same question, all I usually get in return are questions, demands for further qualification or absolute resistance. Knowing nothingness, is a key to knowing who you are. With this in mind, I find it incumbent upon me to try a little harder to frame, if even vaguely, the dimensions of this non-reality.
What is a non-place?
The best way I could describe non-locality is to say that it is a place of "being" not "doing" or "experiencing". Your first tendency will be to reach for an experiential anchor, be aware no such anchor exists. Here, nothing is experienced, this is the ultimate absence of separation.
Few people can relate, in any way, to such a state of awareness. The odd Buddhist monk might have an inkling of what this state is like. However, even the most adept at meditation would have a hard time imagining the scope of a non-place. Aside from children, as well those who habitually meditate, another group of people who seem to be better suited to the task of capturing the feeling of "Non-Place" are users of psychedelics.
The longer the history with drugs, the better equipped they seem to be at finding a way to accept what most consider an alien concept of reality. Especially valuable is experience with mushrooms, LSD, heroin, Ayahuasca, DMT or peyote.
When I explain this weird non-locale to the average person, the following is a synopsis of their thought process.
"What does a 'Non-Place' look like?"
When I say absolute nothingness, they get a weird look in their eyes, most people will then usually blurt out.
"Does that mean everything in the non-place is pitch black?"
My response to them again is; "No, the experience Antonio showed me was more like abject nothingness."
At this point in the conversation, most folks seem to hit a conceptual brick wall. You can see it clearly written on their faces. They have become befuddled beyond repair. Persistent listeners, those persons who really wants to know, will take the final last step, ask the ultimate question.
You probably already know the most likely next question to spew forth from the inexorably perplexed mind. Don't you?
"Well, was it all white then?"
Alas, I must admit dear reader, my unqualified, but no less assured, answer, "No, it was absolute nothingness", offers little to excite further investigation. These poor inquisitive souls are destined to never approach the concept of non-locality, Especially futile is the search if their final query was biased toward the compunction to hammer out an identifiable physical experience.
Feeling sorry to have placed them into an uncomfortable enigma, I usually try to help resolve their quandary with the offer of a little more intelligence. If so inclined, I might add something akin to the following.
"There is no experience, there is only the ultimate singularity. This singularity is expressed as nothingness, this nothingness is "YOU".
As you can imagine, my added clarification does little to satisfy their need to fulfil the senses. Intellectually satiated or not, most people will try their best to keep up with the concept of a self defined Wonderland. However, taking their leave, it is not uncommon to hear them utter the following commentary.
"So, let me get this straight.... you are telling me in this Wonderland non-place.... I am nothingness!"
To which I answer. "Exactly, now you're getting the picture!"
Trying to get the message of a non-place across, I find dealing with one person at a time is difficult but manageable.
When I broach this topic with big audiences the atmosphere of doubt easily transitions into a difficult uphill battle.
Experiences with countless audiences have taught me most people believe the following; if a place isn't describable, it's not pitch black, nor is it absolute white, then the place must be imaginary. The larger the audience, the greater difficulty people will have in approaching deep esoteric subjects.
I can see it in their eyes. I can feel the unease in the building. Really, the emotional wave is palpable. I just know everyone has shut down their intellect. Sometimes, I can almost hear the audience mouthing the words.
This woman just farted in our elevator!!!
Excuse my digression. I don't mean to always defend myself to you the reader. Lately, media bashing has me steadily on the defensive. Try as I might, it's hard to remember most who read my book do so with an open mind.
Considering you are still reading this book, I think it fair to assume, you enjoy wandering around the rabbit hole. Maybe, you want to believe everything Antonio has taught me is truthful? Opening the door to possibility, you must realise, our perception of reality could very well be entirely different than what we thought.
With that said, I will not further attempt to qualify the veracity of my story. Forge ahead I will, with the promise to afford my level best at describing all the events, or non-events, which have transpired. Tossing caution to the wind, I am prepared to let the dice fall as they may.
Stumbling closer to a sense of non-locality, think of the place Antonio took me to as an emotion, not a physical place. Life changing emotions, from intense fear to deep love, significantly impact our experience of consciousness.
Experiencing the 'non-place', I realised there is no separation. The contrasts created by the appearance of separation all slipped away. No black, nor white, up nor down, equally there was no you nor me. All which existed was an emotion which screamed, "I am that!"
There is only 'THE ONE'!
While in this non-place, I don't know why, or how, but I was absolutely convinced 'THE ONE' was me. Right in the core of my beingness, I became the totality of all which exists. Without definition, proof, evidence, or experience, I knew the drop of water had finally returned to the proverbial ocean. It's a wild ride my brethren. Trust me, the experience of unity consciousness is far more bizarre than anything Alice discovered during her outlandish travels in Wonderland.
(Dear reader, for your own benefit, please do not let this revealing moment idly pass you by. STOP take a few golden minutes to imagine your true identity as the infinite and eternal GodSelf)
Imagine the power of realising all reality past, present and future happens in a single moment. Then, imagine you, in the form of consciousness, have authored the experience.
While in the 'non-place', I was enthralled by the awesomeness of the GodSelf. Whilst revelling in the grand expanse of my newfound identity, Antonio also presented with my Godly alter identity which is the absolute nothingness of the non-place.
Antonio had shown me the GodSelf in two, dual apposed, forms. The wild playground of infinite consciousness spewing physicality, contrasted by, the perfect GodSelf expression of the non-place.
Experiencing singularity overwhelmed me completely, I felt like a raindrop incapable of knowing it joined an ocean. However powerful the ultimate presence of GodSelf seemed, I realised it was a quiet partner in my daily life. Love is the way I touch the sleeve of my GodSelf. Every waking moment, love awaits my caress. Reaching for love is like taking a sip of my true identity, magical is the taste.
Attempting to define the GodSelf is, as you might imagine, quite a chore. People think me insane when I suggest they are God. Immediately; distrust, accusations and verbal assaults need be parried.
Additionally, it is hard to find a vocabulary sufficient to describe the unimaginable. One benefit of carrying the message of GodSelf has been how people occasionally ask questions which help me better frame the experiences Antonio has offered.
One such question came from a man up in Canada, I think he said he was from the city called Alberta. In any regard, he asked the following;
"You have said that the moment Antonio touched you, instantly you knew yourself to be God. As you put it, you knew your identity as all manifest reality, past, present and future. Considering, you said you were in a 'non-place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?
At the time, I could not offer the gentleman a reasonable answer. My only recourse, was to suggest the experience was like a seed had been planted in my heart. Having arrived back home after my Canadian media tour, I thought deeper on his question. Pondering this enigma drove me directly to a Eureka moment.
"During the search to define your GodSelf identity, the adept asks, who am I?"
"In time, the resilient learner adjusts their sights on the more important question, who am I not?"
The moment Antonio touched my temples, I discovered who I am not. I am not a something, I have no physical form. This illusion we call reality is a matrix of zeros and ones, it is a mathematical Rubik cube where everything is perfect, yet nothing is 'real'. The 'non-place', stripped away all the things I thought were real. Concepts like space, time and the physical nature of our world were false renditions supported by the filter of illusion.
Antonio assured, the separateness inherent in the three-dimensional illusion we call life was replaced by the knowledge of unity consciousness.
Amalgamating separateness into the whole, I discovered what remained was so powerful it caused me to relentlessly sob in its presence.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
From my trip to Antonio's Wonderland I learned, you, me, the whole enchilada we call space / time is really LOVE.
It hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks! Wow, you have no idea how mind blowing such a discovery can be. Arriving in Antonio's non-place reality left me blissfully bawling with unbridled joy.
We are not talking about happiness here, this is a joy like nothing you could ever imagine.
Think of how you would feel if you knew in the deepest recesses of your heart that you are GOD! You are the universe! The universe before you was never, out there. Never separate from you. Illusion aside, the universe is really YOU divided into an infinite amount of characters. Each character dances in an eternal moment we call the now. The neighbour whom you hate, the lover in your bed, the moon above your head, the sun cracking open a new day, all you experience is the eternal, omnipresent, omnipotent you.
How would this revelation change your world Alice?
What about, love thy neighbour as you would yourself. Makes sense doesn't it Alice?
So, this is the real you, the totality of all existence, love in its purest form.
W O W
You always thought you started and ended somewhere.
You, against the world, struggling to survive.
Strip away the illusion of physical reality dear reader. When all the barriers of illusion have fallen, only love will remain. We all think we know what love is. Societal drama causes us to accept a watered-down philosophy of love. Unfortunately, the concept of love has been condensed to self gratification.
Take everything away, there is no thinking, nor physical form. In an environment bereft of experiential distinction, no judgement can exist. Good or bad, right or wrong, cannot take hold as there is no soil to root judgement. When all the pieces of your world get glued into a singularity, what we have left is bliss.
So, dear reader, to underline an answer for our friendly Canadian which asked: "In a 'non-place', a place of no experience, no senses, how then could you know yourself at all?"
You can't know yourself, you can only 'be' yourself. The 'non-experience' I attained when visiting the 'non-place' is more than you, or anyone, could handle. More JOY JOY than you could ever imagine was possible. In the bosom of GodSelf, you would discover, there is nothing left but to sob with gratitude. Your own magnificence appears, your knees buckle, your heart explodes with joy.
Grand as it was, dear reader, the non-place was just the beginning. Antonio showed me many more amazing revelations, each as fantastic as the first. Let us take a little ride together, the other destinations will be a good deal easier to identify with than was the non-place we just left.